


Kintsugi

by FlipSideofC



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Courtship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Pining, Spaceships, mentions of abuse torture and general graphic content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlipSideofC/pseuds/FlipSideofC
Summary: “Kuro, please make some noise. I can’t find you,”“I am making noise Kenma. You just need to listen.”“Kuro…”“Time is up Kenma. I’m sorry.”Space is vast. Kenma knows this only too well after searching for Kuroo for so long. Karasuno becomes his ticket out of the system, but they might have more in common than Kenma first thought.Kuroo always wanted to go into space, but Kenma doubted this was what he’d had in mind.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma & Aone Takanobu, Kozume Kenma & Karasuno, Kozume Kenma & Nekomata Yasufumi, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou & Nekomata Yasufumi, Kuroo Tetsurou & Sugawara Koushi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 67
Kudos: 115
Collections: Recommended KuroKen Fics





	1. “You don’t win alone. That’s just how it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kintsugi, the art of precious scars: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi
> 
> Endless thanks to [Sabs](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/NeverNothing/pseuds/NeverNothing), [Nate](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/Mini_Nate/pseuds/Mini_Nate) and [Noémie](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/no0emie/pseuds/no0emie).

Kenma trudged along the busy street as he tried to avoid being pushed into the walls and at the same time keep an eye out for the workshop. Trade planets were too noisy and stuffed with people and Kenma disliked both of these aspects, but if he wanted jobs and information, they were a necessity. 

He was not going to put up with these temporary jobs any longer though. If he had to listen to that slimy voice offering him another short-range job he was going to choke them. That was hard to do over communicator though, so Kenma decided that a personal visit was in order. He wasn’t going to leave until he had a long-range job, preferably as far away from Nohebi’s heat and sand as possible. 

Kenma’s eyes fell on a red sign with a screwdriver. Not very original, but clear enough. He went inside the workshop and was met with a room cluttered with tools and a few working bots moving around. Muffled voices from the next room told him that the broker was probably busy with another client. Years of gathering information, however, also told Kenma to listen in on any conversation he could. He casually leaned against the wall next to the half-open door, examining a multi-tool with feigned curiosity.

“...need a mechanic or I won’t get off-planet”, said a deep and pleasant voice. It was tinged with earnestness that Kenma translated to thinly-veiled desperation. He felt a flash of pity for him. That type always had to pay the double. 

“I’d love to help, but your wish list is not small”, said a nasal voice that Kenma immediately recognized belonging to just the man he was looking for, Daishou Suguru. 

“You’re going to be hard-pressed finding anyone here who can fix a C200 engine,” Daishou continued, sounding apologetic. “They’re practically ancient. There can’t be more than a dozen still in traffic.” 

“Nine,” the deep voice sighed sheepishly. “Look, do you have anyone who could at least make it hold together to Miyagi?”

Kenma perked up. The Miyagi sector? This was too good an opportunity to pass up...

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t think…”

“I can,” Kenma declared, pushing the door open. 

Two faces turned his way. One man with hair slicked to the side and half-lidded intelligent eyes, and a plain-faced man with an honest demeanor. 

“Who are you?” Daishou demanded, though he seemed more annoyed at being disturbed than interested in an answer. 

Kenma ignored him and focused on the other man, who eyed him with keen interest. 

“You know C200?”

“I do”, Kenma replied, with a confidence he could feign with ease nowadays. 

“I need a mechanic that can get my ship to Miyagi. Are you up for that?”

“I am. I’m looking for a bit more than a temporary assignment though.” 

“If you fix the engine, you’re hired.”

Kenma nodded. 

“Sawamura Daichi.” 

Kenma realized the man had extended his hand. He managed to avoid bowing - it was still hard to remember not to - and gingerly shook the man’s big warm hand. 

“Kozume Kenma.”

“I assume you came here to find work?”

“I did,” Kenma smiled in feigned politeness towards Daishou, who seemed to have realized who he was while they were talking and was listening to their conversation with a bemused frown.

Sawamura turned to Daishou.

“In that case I’d be happy to pay a referral fee, though I expect a discount since you didn’t have to do any scouting.”

Daishou shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Kenma kept to the side while the pair finalized their affairs. Daishou smiled at him as they prepared to leave. “Hey kid, if you change your mind, come back here and I’ll find you a new good assignment.”

Kenma clenched his teeth and followed Sawamura out of the door.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Daichi mentally checked the task off his long list. Still, finding a mechanic had been one of the bigger ones, so he felt pretty good about completing it. The kid followed him easily, but said nothing, giving him time to gather his thoughts. The kid wasn’t really a kid for starters, though Daichi assumed him to be somewhat younger than himself. The blond hair was probably bleached to blend in. No wonder, considering Nohebi prejudice towards strangers. His hands were clearly a mechanic’s though and he’d soon see if he was telling the truth about his knowledge.

“So what are you doing here?” Sawamura asked and cursed his conversation skills as he only got a short but polite ‘looking for work’ as a reply, with no follow-up. 

Smalltalk had always been Koushi’s forte… 

Daichi forced that thought away. 

“So, here’s my ship.” 

If the mechanic had any second thoughts upon seeing the old ship he didn’t let them show on his face. Daichi had always been told - many times - that it was very ugly, but he loved it anyway and felt compelled to defend it when people pointed it out. Apparently he didn’t have to this time. If the kid could fix the engine and get them out of here he was sure the others would manage to crack his shell sooner or later. They were good at that. 

An elegant dark-haired woman exited the ship and approached them, stopping to salute Daichi and eye Kenma.

“Captain.” 

“Shimizu, I found us a mechanic.”

“That is fortunate. The guys are...trying to fix the engine.”

“Oh dear stars…” Daichi groaned. “Kozume…”

“Kenma”, he interjected. 

“Kenma, this is our pilot, Shimizu Kiyoko. Shimizu, meet our new mechanic, Kozume Kenma.”

Shimizu and Kenma briefly shook hands. 

“I’ll take him to the engine. Could you find us a cook? Here’s the list of agencies I got earlier.”

Shimizu nodded and left with brisk steps towards the city. 

Daichi was happy to see that the kid seemed to know his way around the ship, despite its unique layout. Further evidence that he was telling the truth about his knowledge. He didn’t say anything, but his large golden eyes seemed to take in everything.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma groaned inwardly. This ship was a hunk of junk. Did it even fly? This was probably going to take way more work than he’d originally thought.

They entered the engine room, which contained too many people for the cramped space. An orange-headed boy was arguing with a dark-haired one. Two others were studying a frayed manual. Sawamura cleared his throat and all four immediately snapped to attention, turning to look at him with various levels of curiosity. 

“This is our new mechanic, Kenma. Please step away from the engine and let him work.”

As the others moved away, the one holding the manual approached them, looking nervous. He was tall and muscular, but his eyes were kind. He nodded politely towards Kenma and turned to Sawamura. 

“Captain, based on the manual the main coupling seems to be broken. I’m not even sure it’s possible to get a new one.”

Sawamura groaned while Kenma approached the engine to take a closer look. It was in need of a general overhaul, but as far as he could see from a brief glance it should be ordinary things he could fix with parts easily sourced locally, if not already onboard. The engine seemed to have been taken care of by someone who had little grasp of what to do for quite a while, but the foundation of C200 was made to last and Kenma knew most of them were very sturdy. The coupling looked just like the old one he’d seen back home. He’d hoped for just this scenario. With some luck the rest of it worked well enough so what he was planning to do would look more dramatic. Kenma checked the main wires, then plucked the coupling out, turned it and put it back in, pressing the main switch. 

The engine started. 

The stunned silence was gratifying. Kenma hid his involuntary grin before turning around, looking as calm and professional as possible. 

“Welcome onboard”, Sawamura said, looking relieved. 

Kenma nodded. “I will need to look it over properly. Do you have any supplies?”

“Let me show you. And your quarters. Guys, back to work!”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Shimizu had returned from her hunt for a cook with a blond girl in tow. Although Kenma thought she looked somewhat skittish, he was certainly not going to judge her cooking skills based on that. He was content to spend most of his time in the engine room, getting the ship ready for the journey, while the rest of the crew did their part in doing the same. Most of the evenings, Kenma was too tired to think or plan much and just fell asleep as soon as he settled in his bunk.

Once Sawamura had managed to obtain the rest of the things on the list and deemed the ship ready for departure, he gathered the whole crew. 

“We’re heading back to Miyagi, as planned. We’ll make a few stops on the way. Yes”, he added, holding up his hand, “before anyone asks, that includes a visit to Saeko. Kenma and Yachi, I will introduce you to her later. Saeko is a good friend of ours and also Tanaka’s sister. She supplies us with jobs and information.” 

Kenma nodded to himself. Perfect. When he’d first strayed into Nohebi territory, he had no idea it would take this long to get out of here, but with his employment on the ship, he was guaranteed passage out of the system. Finally. _Finally_.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Once the ship was clear of Nohebi space, Kenma felt relief. Daily life on the hot and dry planet had involved blending in as much as possible, to avoid drawing attention to his origins. Based on his polite and short conversations with Sawamura over the first couple of days, Kenma learned that all of the crew originated from the planet Karasuno, so he felt it safe to reveal that he was from Nekoma. People from Karasuno were notorious travellers and seldom had issues with strangers. It was a relief that he no longer had to hide his origins.

Kenma followed Hinata and Kageyama into the canteen for the evening meal. Instead of just eating quickly and fleeing back to his quarters, as he had done for the first couple of days, he told himself to stay and make an effort of being extra friendly and approachable today. 

It went well at first. He had a decent conversation with Azumane about the latest events in the ports their ship had passed before hiring him and he felt that it shouldn’t be too hard to get to find something to talk about with the other crew members. The new cook, Yachi, started to serve the food and Kenma distractedly looked down at his plate. 

It was mackerel. 

“….enma? Kenma?”

Kenma realized that Sawamura was trying to talk to him. His mind was a jumble of emotions and he desperately tried to focus enough to listen. 

“Yachi made this especially for you, since it’s a Nekoma speciality. She hopes you like it.”

Sawamura nodded towards the blond girl standing next to the table, looking nervous. 

Kenma swallowed and offered her a smile. He realized it was off even without her concerned look back. 

“Thank you,” he tried. “I appreciate it.”

With Yachi hovering anxiously at his shoulder and Sawamura looking at him in mild concern, Kenma tentatively took a bite from his plate. 

It tasted just like back home. 

Kenma closed his eyes and breathed slowly to calm himself. 

“It’s good. Thank you.” 

He managed two more bites before excusing himself and fleeing the table. 

Kenma’s chest ached, like it had done almost constantly since that day three years ago. 

He wouldn't be able to escape the dreams tonight.


	2. Nekoma

_Planet Nekoma, two standard years ago_

Kenma stretched out from his cramped position by the pool and looked at the time again. Kuroo was late. Kenma put down his notes when the letters began to blur and closed his tired eyes. Had it not been for tonight’s plans, he’d happily have fallen asleep fully clothed. Maybe he had time for a nap? Before he could act on the idea, he heard the quick footsteps that announced the arrival of his best friend. 

Kenma took in Kuroo’s appearance with a curious frown. His face was still a bit flushed, but he looked different. Kuroo usually came to find him straight after work or training, but tonight he’d apparently stayed to make more of an effort first. His wild dark hair was damp against his neck and he was dressed in comfortable - but nicer than normal - clothes, as well as his favourite red jacket. He was also carrying a large bundle under one arm. 

Kenma blinked at him slowly. 

“You’re late,” he said flatly, determined to be at least a little difficult to punish him for his tardiness. 

Kuroo gasped dramatically and grinned. “Did you miss me?”

“No.” 

“Did too. It’s clearly your ‘I’m missing Kuro’ face.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“I didn’t make that face. And now we’re going to miss it.”

“You have no faith in me,” Kuroo whined in mock hurt. “We won’t miss it. Let’s go!”

Kenma startled as Kuroo took his hand and gently pulled him up and away from the pool, towards the woods. He was going to tell him that he could walk on his own thank you, but today he decided to humor him. Kuroo’s hand was warm and comfortable after all, and he didn’t want to miss it. 

Kuroo pulled him steadily and gently through the darkening woods towards their secret hiding spot and they reached it just as the sky started to change into white, green and yellow, and Nekoma red. Kuroo turned towards him, beaming, his face illuminated by the glowing lights. 

“See?”

Kenma didn’t reply, but his lack of argument was enough to convey his ‘fine, you were right’. He didn’t even make the regular protests when Kuroo draped the jacket over his shoulders. It was honestly a bit chilly. They settled in to watch the spectacle in comfortable silence as the sky changed colour and shape above them, hiding the stars Kuroo liked to stare at on other nights. 

“Kenma?” 

Kuroo’s voice was unusually hesitant. 

“Hmmm?”

“Have you thought about what you’ll do once you graduate?”

“Tomorrow? I’ll be thanking the stars and spending the first night in ages sleeping uninterrupted.”

“No, I mean...afterwards in general.”

Kenma glanced towards Kuroo. He knew what he was actually inquiring about and while Kenma _really_ didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes again, he knew he had to be open about his feelings. Kuroo had graduated last year, but instead of going off-planet, like Kenma knew he wanted to, he’d stayed behind to work, study and train extra with their foster father Nekomata. 

“I don’t want to go off-planet, you know that.” 

Kenma forced himself to look at Kuroo when he addressed him, even if the disappointment on his face made his chest hurt. 

“Ah. I was hoping you’d changed your mind after that brilliant guest lecture last week. Shinzen is not that far.”

Kuroo was smiling easily as he spoke, but Kenma saw right through it. He hated making Kuroo sad. Making Kuroo sad made him feel like crying and crying was exhausting. What could he say to make Kuroo happier? Surely there was something…

“Um… I was thinking...now that I’ll graduate, I’ll be able to train more with you. Maybe you could teach me some of the new techniques you’ve picked up during the last year?”

Kenma glanced at Kuroo. He did look less sad now. Kenma exhaled in relief. It wasn’t enough though. His mind whirled with possible ideas. 

“I wasn’t going to tell you until tomorrow, but Nekomata promised me a graduation present and I am going to ask for a trip to the onsen.”

Kuroo’s face was definitely brighter now. 

“Really? I thought you were going to ask for a reflector engine?”

“I might still change my mind,” Kenma muttered. “So…?”

“Are you asking me to come with you?” Kuroo said, slowly. 

“No, I’m telling you because I like teasing you,” Kenma said, exasperated. 

“Yes you do.”

“Well, I’m not teasing you now.”

“Ok… Yes, I’d like that. It’ll be fun, spending some alone time with you.”

Kenma flushed at the leering tone, though he was almost sure Kuroo only used it to annoy him. That was at least what he’d been telling himself whenever it happened. 

“Good, then it’s settled. I’ll check availability tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to it,” Kuroo smiled brightly. 

Without the leer or teasing grin, Kuroo’s happy smile was more than Kenma was able to handle these days and he didn’t know why. He settled into the mattress instead, looking up into the colourful sky, trying not to feel guilty about selfishly keeping Kuroo on Nekoma. 

Although he’d mostly gotten rid of his childhood shyness, Kuroo still wasn't very happy about going anywhere new without taking Kenma along with him. Kenma didn't mind at all, but he felt that leaving the planet was more than he felt comfortable with. 

Kenma had never been further away from home than Sarukawa - and that was only for a brief visit with Nekomata several years ago. Travelling to a remote sector like Miyagi or Hyôgo sounded like way too much trouble and politics for his tastes. While he’d heard of the Galactic council and some of the major conflicts he didn’t feel it concerned them. Nekoma was at least in theory part of the huge Tokyo sector, but Nerima was basically a sector of its own and far removed from any neighbouring planets. Next year, if they could afford it, maybe they could visit Ubugawa for a few days? That would give Kuroo something to look forward to. 

Glancing at the time, Kuroo stretched like a cat and turned towards him. 

“Well kitten, it’s midnight, so happy birthday!”

“Thank you,” Kenma murmured sleepily. 

“Here’s your present,” Kuroo said, while pushing the big bundle he’d been carrying into Kenma’s lap. 

Kenma eyed the gift curiously as he squeezed it lightly. It was soft, so for once it was not mechanical. Kuroo was always good at finding gifts he didn’t know he wanted, but he had no idea what this could be. Maybe a blanket? 

Kenma opened the gift and couldn’t stop his flabbergasted reaction. 

“Did you get me a Haori?”

“I did,” Kuroo replied, looking happy with himself.

“Are you insane!? Do you know what these cost?”

“I am very much aware of how much they cost,” Kuroo said wryly, “but you only turn 18 once after all - and I’ve never seen you make that face before, so it was definitely worth it.”

Kenma stroked the garment in awe, feeling the high quality of the fabric. He could already tell it was a perfect fit, because of course it was. The style was classic, with matching hakama, but not the stuffy kind, and white to be able to dye it as he pleased when he was older, as per Nekoma tradition. Frankly, it was normally something a graduate’s family would provide - if they could afford it - but Kenma was fine with a borrowed set of a more simple kind for his ceremony. He doubted he would use it a lot and he’d rather Nekomata spend money on something else. 

Kenma grappled for a thank you big enough to convey the sudden tightness in his chest. Words failing him, he hugged Kuroo instead, hoping he’d understand. 

Kenma’s hands settled against a lean back as Kuroo’s clean scent filled his nostrils. Strong arms brought him flush against a warm chest and he could feel Kuroo’s contented breath close to his ear. 

Hugging Kuroo made Kenma feel strange nowadays, but he didn’t want to tell him, since it would definitely cause him to stop and he didn’t want that. Kenma wondered if hugging him made Kuroo feel strange too, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. Sometimes, he wanted to go back to the times when Kuroo’s hugs were just comforting and less confusing, but at the same time he was curious and his hands were itching to do something, like touching Kuroo’s hair. Somehow he didn’t think that was a good idea, though he wasn’t sure why, since Kuroo liked to touch his hair all the time. 

“Thank you,” Kenma murmured quietly after a moment as he withdrew from the embrace. “I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think I wanted one, but you always know.”

Kuroo chuckled happily, bringing his hand up to ruffle Kenma’s hair, as usual. 

“I’m glad you like it. You’ll wear it tomorrow, right?”

Kenma gave him an ‘are you an idiot?’ glare and tried to get Kuroo’s hand out of his hair. 

Kuroo’s hand fell from his head to move downwards across his cheek. Kenma blinked in confusion as he felt the warm hand move to rest against his cheek in a caress. 

Kenma flinched. 

The hand withdrew immediately as if it had never been there. 

“Well, I’d better get going so I’ll get some sleep before your graduation,” Kuroo said slowly, not looking him in the eyes. 

Kenma struggled to say something, but he found himself just nodding dumbly as Kuroo jumped down from the tree and made a hasty exit. 

Kenma stayed in their spot for a long time after Kuroo left, looking aimlessly up at the stars. This was all so confusing and he was so very tired, but whatever it was, he’d fix it tomorrow. He just needed some time to think.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

The sky turned bright yellow and Kenma blinked in confusion. More fireworks? Surely it was too late for that?

It was embarrassing how long it took him to realize that the bright lights weren’t fireworks at all. Fire rained down from the sky and soon everywhere he could see was fire, light and smoke.

Had Kuroo been here, he would probably have told Kenma they’d better stay put and observe first. After all, their spot was outside of the city and likely safer. However, Kuroo wasn’t here and Kenma needed to find him.

Kenma scrambled down from the tree and ran towards home. Before he had managed more than a few steps, there was a high-pitched sound and a blinding light. 

Everything went dark.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma groaned and gingerly touched his pounding head. Based on the stiffness of his limbs and the dampness of his clothes, he must have been unconscious for a while. The forest smelled of smoke and ashes. He ran back home in panic, but what he was met with didn’t make the tightness of his chest any lighter.

The planet was scorched. Nekomata was bed-ridden and many others dead or wounded. Their house was a pile of burning debris and the only thing that remained of his workshop looked like macabre mechanical skeletons against a red backdrop. 

And Kuroo was gone.


	3. “There are some flowers you only see when you take detours.”

Kenma left his quarters the next day, bleary-eyed after too little sleep. Dreaming about Kuroo - especially of that day - often left a bittersweet mix of nostalgia, longing and renewed desperation to find more clues to his whereabouts. Dreaming about home also made him wish for some company. Kenma definitely liked his alone-time, but not this much. He’d been alone - and lonely - far too much since he left Nekoma. Right now he’d even welcome some of the pesky juniors from Nekomata’s dojo with open arms...for a limited time at least. He’d been isolating himself too much since he arrived on the ship. It made sense to be silent and observe, but he’d never find any more leads if he just spent all his time in the engine room. He also needed to make amends for last night. Taking a deep breath, Kenma started to wander the ship.

‘Karasuno’ was ugly and old, that much was clear. So old that the real name of the ship was all but forgotten and replaced with the same as their planet - because it was ‘home’. At first glance, it appeared to be held together by tape and love alone, but the most scrappy parts were only superficial. The core was intact and all important parts clearly replaced with care. Somehow, this made him feel some level of trust for the crew, though he was still apprehensive. Sawamura was a capable captain, Shimizu an excellent pilot and the rest of the crew appeared hardworking and sympathetic. The medic, Kageyama, was perhaps a bit aloof, but clearly brilliant. Still, they appeared a bit disjointed, as if something was missing, and they weren’t completely used to working together. They’d also stop in the middle of sentences and look somber. Something was troubling them, that much was clear. Some of the crew members might reveal information if approached one-by-one. 

He stopped to study a wall covered by various scribbles. Some were old and faded, while others seemed pretty recent. Sharp letters proclaimed ‘rolling thunder’, though Kenma had no idea what that meant. He tried to make out some of the faded letters, but only got something that looked like ‘fly’. 

“Because people don’t have wings, they’re looking for ways to fly.”

Kenma blinked at the voice behind him. Hinata, the bouncy orange-headed nurse, had snuck up on him. 

“Karasuno is a poor planet, so we need to go off-planet to find good work,” Hinata supplied, before Kenma could ask. 

Kenma frowned at the information. There was probably more to it, but perhaps Hinata wasn’t the right person to ask. However, he seemed to be friendly with everyone, so he was probably a good person to start talking to. 

“Was this why you joined the crew?”

“Yes, I was lucky to get a job on Karasuno! I’ve been working with them for years, but didn’t think I’d get a chance to actually fly! I joined at the same time as Bakegayama, when they needed to replace a few crew members who left.”

Kenma ignored the nickname for the moment. Even after a short time it was clear that Kageyama and Hinata had an odd relationship fueled by bickering. Kenma also quickly swallowed down the flash of memories of a teasing smirk and a too loud laugh that the thought provoked. He focused on the part of the information he could use. 

“So the ship medic left then?” Kenma probed lightly. 

“Uh...yes, he went missing and then Noya-san got upset and left, so they didn’t have anyone to maintain the engine either. And a few of the others dropped off as well.”

“He went missing?” Kenma asked, trying not to sound too eager. 

“Yes, it’s been...two years I think? Sugawara-san was a great guy. _Is_ a great guy I mean. We’re going to get him back one day! And Noya as well!”

“I hope you do.”

“Not that we want you to leave,” Hinata exclaimed, apparently afraid he’d insulted Kenma. “I’m sorry.” He looked contrite. 

“No no, I understand. I’m...looking for someone too.”

“You are? Who?”

“My best friend.”

“That’s awful!” Hinata exclaimed. “Whe….”

“I need to go apologize to Yachi,” Kenma interrupted quickly, before Hinata could make him babble about Kuroo. Luckily, he spotted Kageyama approaching in the corridor and soon he could hear the pair yelling and talking as he left in the other direction.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

After several months with the crew, Kenma had been forced to amend his opinion of them several times. First of all, while disjointed, they were a force to be reckoned with on missions. He’d joined a few and left with renewed respect. The missions that they did to stay afloat were mainly redirected by old friends, of which Saeko was the major supplier. Some of the jobs were just information gathering and transportation (Kenma supposed it should really be called smuggling, but didn’t dwell on it), while some involved fighting and more dangerous supply raids.

Sawamura preferred the lighter jobs, but the fighting did offer more money. Kenma had wondered why they needed so much funds to keep the ship going, but it was clear a lot of it was spent on bribes and information brokers. The missing crew member Sugawara had apparently disappeared during a hazardous supply raid mission. Another reason why the crew, especially Sawamura ( _Daichi_ , Kenma reminded himself; he was slowly getting used to it), disliked them. 

Kenma berated himself for failing to just party with the crew from the start. During one evening spent drinking around the campfire with Saeko he’d learned more information than he’d gotten over several long months of socializing on the ship. 

Kenma lightly patted Tanaka’s shoulder as the man started to wail drunkenly about Noya leaving and how they’d almost lost Asahi too. Daichi stared morosely into the fire and talked about ‘Koushi’. 

“We were heading back to the ship, but had to stop and sleep. I’ve never forgiven myself for not just continuing through the night. We could have reached the ship and left before the attack…”

“The attack?” Kenma prompted carefully, now having Tanaka’s head on one shoulder and Asahi’s on the other. In front of him, Kageyama and Shouyou sat close together, staring raptly at their captain with wide eyes, clearly hearing these details for the first time. Yachi, sitting next to Shouyou, looked at Shimizu with compassion, as she appeared to remember the event with as much regret as Dachi. Kenma could certainly understand that feeling. 

“We made camp outside of a village and Suga left to gather wood. It was dark, but he didn’t go that far. We saw a bright light and threw ourselves to the ground. There was fire everywhere and we got separated trying to get away. Some of the crew managed to eventually reach the ship and the rest of us stayed to look for Suga. We barely escaped the fire alive, but we couldn't find him. He was gone, just like several others.”

“Not a trace? No body?” Kenma asked, wondering how to ask about the ‘several others’ without appearing too eager. 

“There were bodies, but not Suga’s, and one or two villagers were also missing. They said that the same thing had happened to neighbouring planets. A bright light, fire everywhere and a few missing people…never to be seen again.”

Kenma swallowed thickly and contemplated getting drunk together with the rest. 

“Slave traders maybe?” Kenma asked, though that false trail had cost him nearly a year combing through the Sumida system and stranding him on Nohebi. 

“We have checked in several places. And they generally take many more people at once. It would make no sense just picking a few. We thought maybe it had to do with looks. Suga is good looking, as was at least one of the villagers. However, this wasn’t a trend for all the other planets, so we can’t be sure.”

Kenma frowned. Kuroo was, admittedly, not bad looking. He hadn’t considered that as part of the equation before. However, the idea that someone would abduct him for his looks alone felt unrealistic - and there were other people on Nekoma more known for their looks, if that was the deciding factor. Kuroo had many qualities; he was a pretty good fighter, charismatic and smart - and Suga had been their doctor, so he must also be intelligent, in addition to his looks. 

“I’ve sent out more people asking around,” Saeko proclaimed. She’d drunk more than anyone of the crew, but still appeared alert. “We’ll get your husband back.”

“Thank you,” Dachi said, earnestly, just as Kenma blinked at the ‘husband’ part. He was going to buy a load of drinks before they left tomorrow.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Daichi stared at the screen in disbelief. Saeko had sent them the video after it was discovered on a dead body and while she had said it was a vital clue, he hadn’t anticipated it was this good.

“There! Look! It’s Koushi!”

Shimizu and Asahi looked at the footage and swallowed thickly. 

“Finally…!”

The trio scoured the grainy picture for clues. Besides Suga, there were several others in the video. 

“Look at that hair, do you think he’s from Fukurodani?”

“Could be, definitely. What about that one?”

“No idea, it’s hard to know for sure. Maybe we should ask the others?”

“Not yet,” Daichi decided. “We have several new crew members on board, and it would only distract them from their duties and give them false hope. They’ll know soon enough. Let’s see what we can find out ourselves first.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma exhaled and took a calming breath, his movements slow and steady. He went through kata after kata without thinking, their flow ingrained in his mind after so many repetitions. He’d struggled at first, but Kuroo had trained with him over and over, until he could do them in his sleep. Doing them inevitably meant thinking about Kuroo, but they were also calming and his body desperately needed the flow and stretching after many hours spent in the engine room.

“Wow!” 

Kenma froze in the middle of a move. Damn, he’d been careless, lulled into a false sense of security on this ship with its weird and friendly crew. 

“I didn’t know you could fight Kenma!” Shouyou sounded awed as he approached him. 

“I don’t really,” Kenma shrugged, avoiding his gaze as he composed himself. “Only a little. It’s just...the Arts.”

“What’s the Arts? Did you learn them from an old master, like in stories?” 

Shouyou’s over-eager voice made Kenma huff out a laugh. He closed his mouth in confusion. How long ago was it that he’d last laughed? He hid his face in embarrassment, but straightened when he realized that Shouyou was still waiting for an answer. 

“It’s just...different moves. And I did actually have an old master.” Kenma silently apologized to Nekomata for calling him old. “We all learn the Arts. It’s tradition.”

“Why? I mean, if you’re not using it?”

“Being armed was forbidden during the Eastern War, so the people learned the Arts in secret to be able to defend themselves. It’s taught to everyone from childhood since then, even if the restrictions have been lifted. Everyone doesn’t become good at it though. Ku...my friend was...is good at it. I used to train with him, so I know some.”

“That looked like more than some! It was all... _swoosh!_ And _whooosh_!”

Kenma cracked a small smile. “Thank you Shouyou. It’s not my forte though.”

“Of course, you’re a mechanic. Was… _is_ your friend a mechanic too?”

“No, he’s more of a nerd really.” Kenma hid a wistful smile. “Always studying. He wanted to go off-planet and learn everything.”

“What about you?”

“No, I had no wish to leave the planet… So we stayed.”

“And now you are both off-planet anyway…?”

“Yeah…” Kenma murmured. In fact, many had left Nekoma after the attack. To find work. To mourn their dead. When in brief communication with Nekomata, he had learned that several of his year-mates had left - and Kuroo’s too. He had the occasional message from them, but in general he avoided anything reminding him of home. 

“I’m sure you’ll find him Kenma!” Shouyou said with conviction.

“Space is vast… but I hope so. Thank you.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for you! I see a lot of people when we stay in port. What does he look like?”

“Uhm…”

Kenma pulled a worn and bleached photo from his pocket. Hinata eagerly took in the picture. A clearly younger Kenma with dark hair and a less guarded, but exasperated, look, posed reluctantly together with a much taller boy, his hair dark and wild and his grin wide and teasing as he pulled Kenma closer, pointing towards the camera.

“He looks...scary.”

Kenma snorted. 

“He’s not. He does like to rile people up though.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Hinata grinned. “And when you find him, I bet he’ll smile at you just like that.”

Kenma reluctantly put the photo back in his pocket. Wherever Kuroo was, he was afraid he didn’t have a lot of opportunities to smile. It was a nice thought though. 

“He’d better.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Hinata knocked on the door in a rush and pushed it open before being admitted.

“Captain! Bakeg...Kageyama says we need to stop at Johzenji to get more…”

He shut his mouth when he realized that Daichi wasn’t alone. Asahi and Shimizu flanked him, looking worried and determined, respectively. In front of them a screen displayed blurry images that Hinata soon realized was a film, likely recorded with a small handheld device in shaky hands. A flash of grey hair made him inhale sharply in shock. 

“Wait...is that Suga?” He asked, breathlessly. “Sugawara-san is alive?!”

Daichi exchanged looks with the other two and sighed. Suddenly he looked much older than his 23 years, and very tired. 

“Hinata, come in and sit down.”

Hinata swallowed and sat down promptly without arguing, looking up at them. 

“Hinata, this must not leave this room, understood?” 

Daichi waited for Hinata’s small nod before continuing. 

“This is a video that was found on a body on Inarizaki. It’s not the best quality, but as you saw, Suga is in it.”

“Is…”

Daichi cut off Hinata’s questions with his hand. 

“We don’t know if he’s still alive. He was alive when the video material was recorded, yes. We have determined that the video was probably recorded in snippets over a period of several months. The first parts are during winter and the last ones during summer. The body was recovered a month ago. We think he escaped with the material in order to get help.”

“And the body?” Hinata gasped.

“It wasn’t Suga. He was younger. A freckled and skinny boy apparently. Now, we don’t know how old the video is, but we have a few guesses. If we are very lucky, it’s only two months old. If we are unlucky, it’s much older.”

“Can I see the video?” Hinata whispered. 

“Are you sure?” Daichi asked grimly. “It’s not pretty.” 

“I’m sure,” Hinata said with conviction he hoped would catch up with him. 

Hinata glued his eyes to the screen, trying not to miss a single detail, no matter how gruesome. After the first part of snippets, he had to pause to wipe snot and tears off his face. He realized he’d dug his nails into his legs hard enough to leave bruises. He exhaled and gritted his teeth. 

“Do you want to stop?” Daichi asked kindly. 

“No. What was that thing in the beginning? An arena?”

“Yes, we think so. It looks like they’re fighting there. For what, we have no idea. The match-ups are different every time. It could be a vote, or something.” 

“And then they’re kept in the cellars, where they also train?”

“Yes, they appear to be mostly underground. The arena is out in the open, but the rest of it would probably not be visible even from satellites.”

The video continued with fighting scenes. A muscular man with weird two-toned hair fought another muscular, shorter man. They were both bleeding from smaller wounds and despite their strength they both showed signs of well-hidden exhaustion. Hinata winced as the two-toned guy got a good hit in. The scene switched to a muscular and stoic man, moving with purpose, fighting a tall, lean man with dark long hair, moving with careful and deadly grace. 

Hinata frowned. “Wait, pause the picture there!”

Daichi rewound the video to the last fight. Hinata focused on the dark-haired man, moving around his opponent like in a dance. His mouth moved in a smirk as he turned his face towards the recording device. 

“That’s...that’s Kenma’s friend!”

“What?”

“Kenma is looking for his friend. I saw a picture of him and he had a smirk just like that - and Kenma said he was good at that dance-like fighting. It must be him! We need to tell Kenma!”

Daichi swallowed and grimazed. 

“Maybe… you should probably watch the rest of the video first.”

Hinata bit his lip as he watched the rest. Fighting, cramped and primitive quarters, arguments over food, hollow eyes, bruises and sweat. Shackles hanging from ceilings and walls. People being assaulted and dragged away by laughing groups. The fighters seemed to be of many different nationalities, based on their looks and the mix of languages and dialects. The video appeared trying to cover every area of the place, but seldom lingered. Hinata guessed they were afraid of being spotted. There were numerous guards with masks, although he noticed they didn’t appear too overzealous at their job. He voiced his thoughts aloud. 

“You’re right Hinata. It could mean they are easier to defeat or bribe. Or that the place is so locked up they know they can’t escape anyway.”

Hinata winced as the video turned to a close-up of the primitive medical area. Groaning prisoners were whispering for water and food - and painkillers - none of which appeared to be supplied by the staff. A doctor paused over a bed and gestured to his colleagues. Hinata’s eyes widened as one of them fetched a saw. 

“No…” he gasped. “They can’t.”

Daichi clenched his teeth. “This was why I recommended you watch the rest before deciding whether Kenma should see this or not.”

“What do you…?” 

Hinata felt faint when the camera focused properly on the struggling man now being held down on the bed. 

It was Kuroo. 

With his ears ringing from the horrible sound of panicked screaming, Hinata stared in horror as the doctor sawed off Kuroo’s arm.


	4. “Even if the gods don’t help us we’ll be fine.”

Kenma entered the room, frowning at the group inside. Asahi and Kiyoko left as he came in, giving him looks of sympathy that made him apprehensive, though he carefully hid his reaction.

“You called, Daichi?”

“Kenma, I’ll be blunt. We know you’re looking for your friend. We have received information and we believe him to be in the same place as Suga.”

Kenma’s eyes widened. 

“Where?” He asked breathlessly, not making any efforts to hide his eagerness. 

“We don’t know where it is. There’s a video. Before you watch it, however, I need to warn you. It’s...bad.”

“Is Kuro in it?”

“That’s your friend’s name? Yes, we think he’s in it.”

Kenma sat down, his hands clenched. As he watched the video, memorizing every detail, Daichi filled him in on all the information. 

“We think it’s either in Oita, Nagano or Hyôgo, but we can’t tell for certain. They could all work, based on the climate, fauna, timeframe and where the kid that carried the film was found.”

Kenma nodded. 

“Oita is less likely though”, he mused. “They have a big event coming up and would not risk anything like this with the spotlight on them.”

“True… unless it’s in a less populated area,” Daichi continued, before realizing Kenma had stopped listening. 

Kenma’s eyes glued themselves to the screen. 

“Kuro,” he breathed. 

“It’s him?”

“It’s him,” Kenma whispered, feeling faint. Kuroo had certainly improved his knowledge of the Arts. The style had also morphed somewhat. Kenma assumed he must have picked up techniques from the others. Always such a good student...

“Are you ready to watch the rest?” Daichi asked, looking apprehensive. “It’s…”

“Yes,” Kenma nodded, his body tense. “Show me everything.”

Kenma tried to catch every detail of the video, but it was unavoidable that most of his attention was on any frame Kuroo was in. He seemed to be in pretty good condition, given circumstances. Certainly he was pale and not completely unharmed, but he appeared to be moving around well and could still smirk. 

“We think the kid who carried the video might have gotten out because he was small,” Daichi interjected as the video paned over the cave walls. 

Kenma nodded. 

“If he got out and not anyone else, the way he got out would be dependent on size, not strength or speed. There are other prisoners who could go if that was required.”

“True, but why just one? Maybe he’d have made it if they were a group. There were other small guys among the prisoners.”

“We don’t know if he was the only one who got out, just that he was the one who was found,” Kenma shrugged. “The question is how he got out. The place is underground, so maybe an earthquake? So it’s in an area with seismic activity?”

Daichi nodded eagerly. 

“...maybe! We need to check the video again to study the rocks.”

Kenma suddenly turned pale and Daichi swallowed as he watched the blond boy staring at the screen, not missing a second of the scene where Kuroo screamed himself hoarse as his arm was slowly, but surely, sawed off. 

Kenma finally closed his eyes when the scene shifted to a hallway filled with mattresses and finally static. He drew a shuddering breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He could not allow himself to cry now. Or panic. Or scream. 

He wanted to do all of these things. 

He also felt like seriously killing someone, possibly for the first time in his life. They hurt Kuroo and Kenma wasn’t there to help him. That kind of wound could very well kill him. He needed to go there. Now. Immediately. 

“There’s nothing more after this?” Kenma whispered with clenched teeth. 

“No,” Daichi said, the regret and pity plain in his voice. 

“Again. Let’s look at the rocks.” Kenma’s voice was sharp and crisp now, devoid of emotion. Kuroo was alive. For now. He had to believe he would still make it. 

They watched the video another time. And another. Until Kuroo’s screams never stopped ringing in his head.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Later that night, Hinata walked back to his quarters, too subdued to even quarrel with Kageyama. If someone had asked him about his day, he would have had no idea what to tell them after he left Daichi’s. He’d sought Kenma out in the engine room to discuss what they’d seen, but despite his best efforts, he hadn’t managed to get anything out of him.

“What’s with you today?” Kageyama frowned, clearly disconcerted. “You’ve been off all day. Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Hinata murmured. “I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Did you catch something from hanging around Kenma? He disappeared even earlier.”

Hinata looked even more somber at that. He glanced towards Kenma’s quarters and hesitantly hovered outside the door. 

“What are you doing dumbass? He’s probably asleep!” Kageyama whispered urgently, trying to jank him back. 

A sniffling wet sound could be heard from the room. Kageyama looked horrified and tried to pull Hinata back as the latter glanced inside. 

Kenma lay on the bed, curled into a ball, clutching a red jacket to his chest. Muffled sobs could be heard. Hinata’s features morphed into pity and he hesitated, glancing at Kageyama, who shook his head. 

Hinata sighed and went into his room, leaving a bewildered Kageyama in the hallway.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma’s eyes were red and puffy the next day, but so were Daichi’s and several of the other crew members’.

“So, let’s try to compare notes and decide on the next step,” Daichi said, taking the lead. “Suga was taken around two years ago. Kenma, you mentioned that your friend Kuroo was taken three years ago?”

“Almost three years ago, yes.” Kenma confirmed. 

“According to Saeko, there are a number of reported disappearances; many more than we initially thought. As a matter of fact, they have increased substantially in the last year or so. Based on the video, we can’t be sure where it was filmed, but the way the kid escaped, we think there is some seismic activity. Unfortunately, the people who uncovered the video scrapped the ship, so we can’t investigate it. It was nothing special or rare though, or they’d have kept it intact. In the video, there were a few people we think we can identify, apart from Suga and Kuroo. We think one of them is from Fukurodani. Does anyone know someone there we could get in contact with, discreetly?”

Daichi looked at the crew. Kenma shook his head. He’d never met anyone from Fukurodani during his travels. Based on rumours, they were an intense lot. 

“Um…” 

The noise was barely audible, but everyone spun around and stared at Yachi, who looked almost terrified to be the subject of such attention. Kiyoko smiled at her encouragingly. 

“Um...I know someone from Fukurodani. We used to work together. I can...ask her?”

“Excellent Yachi! Please ask them to send someone to meet us at Dateko to discuss. Let’s all try to keep communications brief though. They’re expensive and we don’t want anything to get out.”

Daichi brought up a blurry image from the video. 

“We are going to Aoba Johsai, before we head off to Dateko to analyze the video further. Based on the intel Saeko provided, this guy is a top-ranked fighter there. For some reason, his warrant is not out and Aoba Johsai’s Queen has so far refused any calls on the matter, referring to their communications manager. We hope to gain access to them through Nishinoya, an old crew member of ours, who is working as a fisherman nearby. 

“...”

“Yes, Kageyama?” Daichi turned to their doctor in surprise. “Do you know anyone on Aoba Johsai?”

“I used to work there before.”

“Was that the blank few years in your resumé?” Daichi asked wryly.

“Yes.” 

“Is there anyone you can contact to get us in?”

“The man in the picture is Iwazumi Hajime. He’s married to their prince, Oikawa Tooru, the Queen’s younger brother. I was employed in the palace, so I could call Oikawa-san… if I have to.”

“Yes,” Daichi said faintly. “That would be appreciated.”

Kageyama nodded and moved to the communicator. 

“Remember Kageyama, you can’t tell him anything about the video, or anything. Just make him accept to see us. Be vague. Suggest a meeting, for old time’s sake.”

Kageyama sighed and opened the connection. Oikawa’s handsome face came into view. The prince of Aoba Johsai was dressed in white and blue and his hair was artfully immaculate. The crew tried to avoid listening in to the conversation, but it was proving difficult. 

“Tobio-chan! What a surprise.”

“Oikawa-san. I was wondering if you would like to meet up...and talk about old times,” Kageyama said, sounding to Kenma like a robot learning human speech. 

“So bold Tobio-chan, but I can’t say I’m very interested.”

Oikawa’s voice was light and teasing, but he looked strained and his eyes were obviously those of a man who had slept little lately.

“It’ll be...fun. Eh...very _very_ fun.”

“Ah my dear Tobio-chan, had it been earlier I might have considered your suit, but alas I’m faithful to my Iwa-chan.”

“Just come you idiot!” Kageyama muttered. Then he seemed to remember that he was supposed to be discreet and offered up a strained wide smile. “I’ll make it worth the effort.”

Oikawa blinked. “Well...I guess I might as well,” he sighed. “It’s been a while. Dateko was it? See you there.”

Kageyama closed the connection and turned around. 

Daichi looked on in something akin to horror. 

Kenma tried to keep his face impassive but failed.

Hinata was just staring in disbelief. 

“What?” Kageyama muttered. 

“Kageyama, please never try to flirt again.”

Yachi returned to say that her friend had assured her that Akaashi Keiji, Fukurodani’s captain, was going to rendez-vous with them on Dateko. Daichi smiled in relief.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Daichi had initially only planned on going to Dateko to find analytics to check the video further. The planet would also have any spare parts they needed. Their visit yielded more success than they had anticipated when it was discovered that Dateko’s head mechanic Aone Takanobu had lost a member of his team in a similar fashion and immediately offered them all to stay. Not having to pay for anything and being able to use Dateko’s excellent facilities to work and meet with all of their allies was a more than welcome bonus.

Kenma’s mind was so full of strategies and theories regarding Kuroo’s whereabouts that he often woke up in the middle of the night and had to work for a few hours to calm down. He usually found himself going to Aone’s workshop, joining the mechanic in his work, which seemed to center on artificial body parts. They worked in comfortable silence, but sometimes one of them spoke and the other listened intently. Kenma found it more soothing than he could say.

“I want to build an arm,” Kenma announced, sitting down next to the big man. 

“For your friend?”

Kenma nodded. He had no idea if Kuroo actually wanted a new arm to replace the one he had lost, but he needed to do something to stay sane and having something to give Kuroo if… _when_ they found him felt right. 

Aone pointed to a box with parts. 

“I will help you.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Akaashi Keiji and his entourage turned up at Dateko and wasted no time confirming the crew’s theories.

“Yes, that is indeed Bokuto-san, Fukurodani’s general. He’s been missing for about a year now and we’ve had very little information, despite the huge reward offered by our Queen.”

“It’s the same for us,” interjected Oikawa, who had joined them together with a group of his personal guards. “We’ve offered so much money for news of Iwa-chan that I doubt anyone could resist it if they knew where he was.”

“The reward is not public,” Oikawa said when Daichi wanted to interject. “It would draw too much attention. It’s only on a few select bounty hunter lists.”

Daichi nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe we could use the bounty hunter network, too.”

Oikawa smiled slightly. “You couldn’t afford it. However, you won’t have to. Iwa-chan is already listed and that man,” he said, pointing to the video print-outs, “is Shiratorisawa’s emperor, so I’m assuming they could be persuaded to help with some troops and funding...not that I like them much.”

Daichi gaped. 

“You..wouldn’t happen to know anyone there?”

Oikawa sighed and reluctantly picked up his communicator.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Despite being in a room full of people who were desperately invested in finding the location of the arena, having all the money they needed and access to the best technology, they were still not able to determine where it was. Akaashi suggested they review the statistics of the disappearances, but the data was so massive and confusing it was hard to see any patterns. In fact, there didn’t seem to be any logic to the kidnappings. Kuroo was certainly a good fighter, but not famous internationally. The kid with the video had been small, as were several of the people they had seen in the video. They had already discussed looks, intelligence and many other aspects, but none of the criteria seemed to match perfectly. The only thing they managed to agree on was that the disappearances for the past year involved more famous people, from bigger and wealthier planets. But why would they take that risk and how could they resist all the reward money? They had a lot of information, but to go through all the possible planets would take too much time.

Kenma’s head hurt. He’d been pouring over the numbers with Keiji for hours and his mind was too busy. When he finally managed to fall asleep, it was fitful and full of nightmares.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma ran as fast as he could, falling over tree roots and with branches hitting him in his face.

“Kuro?!”

“It’s hide and seek Kenma, you’re supposed to look for me,” Kuroo’s voice echoed, though it was hard to determine from which direction. 

“I _am_ looking for you! You’re hiding too well.” 

“You’re looking in the wrong places, Kenma-kun,” Kuroo’s voice teased, with an edge Kenma didn’t recognize from their childhood games. 

Blood started to drip from the trees. Kenma swallowed and ran further. 

“Where are you?!”

“Time is running out, Kenma,” Kuroo’s voice said, sounding closer, but still too far away. 

Kenma fell to his knees in the blood-soaked grass, gasping for air. 

“Kuro, please make some noise. I can’t find you,” Kenma pleaded. 

“I _am_ making noise Kenma. You just need to listen.”

“Kuro…”

“Time is up Kenma,” Kuroo’s voice said. “I’m sorry.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma swallowed and wiped his tears.

_I am making noise. You just need to listen._

Kenma tried to gather his thoughts and not think too much about all the information they’d gathered. What would Kuroo do, to make noise? The video, of course. But except for that. What could Kuroo do, except fight?  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma ran into the room, startling everybody.

“Which planets in the target sectors have reported no disappearances at all?” 

“Huh?”

“Disappearances have increased this past year and the subjects are more high-profile. They must have taken them from all over, but probably not from their own planet.”

The room went from silent to bustling with activity. Kenma moved to help.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

“Kamomedai… it’s on Kamomedai!” Oikawa exclaimed, looking bright-eyed for the first time since they had met him.

_Time is up Kenma. I’m sorry._

Kenma ground his teeth.

_Please hang on a little bit longer, Kuro._


	5. “Even as I tear apart their wings with my own two hands.”

Kiyoko expertly maneuvered the ship towards the rendez-vous point just outside Honshu, where they had planned on meeting up with everyone involved in the rescue mission. Daichi looked nervous, but eager. Kenma could definitely understand him. Nekomata had sent him brief congratulations earlier this morning, but he didn’t want to reply until he could give him the news. This was either going to be the best or the worst birthday of his life. 

“Let’s go over the plan one final time. Saeko has planted the rumour that Kamomedai has discovered a mine with minerals worth a fortune. She’s also tipped off the bounty hunters that the emperor is held there and Shiratorizawa has tripled the reward. Right now, several fleets and independent ships are moving towards the planet to attack. Dateko will take their shields down, starting with our intended landing sector. When Kamomedai are busy defending themselves, we sneak in and locate the prisoners before the bounty hunters. We find our people and leave as soon as we can. It’s essential we get to them first and then we get out. The bounty hunters will free any prisoners worth money and the rest will be evacuated. 

Daichi paused to look around the group. 

“Asahi and Kageyama are going with me. Oikawa and Akaashi will join us. Tanaka will guard the ship. Shimizu will stay onboard and make sure we can fly out once we’re back. Hinata and Yachi will also stay on board to prepare for any wounded. Both Kenma and Aone are coming along when we leave the ship for personal reasons. Kenma, you have a backup plan ready for repairs?”

“Yes, part of Takanobu’s team will stay on the ship to make sure we can leave afterwards if there are any damages.”

Daichi nodded. “Does anyone have any last minute questions?”

Kenma shook his head, along with the others. He only wanted to be down on the planet already - _now_.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kiyoko was the only one with any colour in her face as they approached the planet. Kenma had no idea how she was still able to focus. The chaotic maze of ships and explosions around them made the entire crew stare straight ahead, clutching their armrests, praying they’d be able to land in one piece. When Saeko said fleets were moving towards the planet, that had been an understatement.

Kiyoko dove towards the surface, trying to land, gliding between debris and smoke. 

“Fly Karasuno,” Kiyoko murmured with clenched teeth. “Fly high.” 

Kenma could hear the landing gears being blown away and closed his eyes, bracing for the impact. 

They hit the ground with too much speed, but Kiyoko managed to keep the ship gliding forward until they hit a dead end. 

Kenma slowly opened his eyes. 

Kiyoko sat still in her chair, looking straight ahead, but she wasn’t moving. It only took a second for him to figure out why. A two meter shard was sticking out of her stomach. 

Hitoka screamed and lunged towards her, her face covered in tears. The rest of the crew also scrambled to Kiyoko’s side, but she was white and non-responsive. They hovered around her, grey-faced and immobile, frozen in shock, as Kageyama resolutely pushed them aside and bent to examine her. 

“There is nothing you can do here. Take Hinata with you and leave. I will stay here with Yachi and make preparations to receive any wounded,” Kageyama finally declared, rising from his crouching position.

Daichi rubbed his eyes and nodded stiffly.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma ran after the others, keeping an eye out for clues and attacks. So far they appeared to be ahead of the bounty hunters, based on listening in to their communications, but they were not far off. In the beginning, they only had to take care of a few left-over guards, but as they closed in on the location they had identified as the most likely target, dodging troops was becoming a nerve-wrecking hassle and they had to spend a lot of time constantly scrambling for cover or fight their way through.

Kenma felt faint with exhaustion and tried to calm his rising desperation as they looked through another of the buildings. They still hadn’t found anything they could use and he felt like time was running out on all accounts. The attacks on the planet must have been going on for quite a while now and the constant shaking and rocking made Kenma wonder if it was explosions or seismic activity - or both - and whether everything would collapse. While he didn’t exactly mind that Kamomedai was destroyed, they needed to find their friends first. 

Daichi halted and listened to the communicator with interest. It appeared some of the bounty hunters were interrogating a prisoner. Kenma and the others joined him and listened carefully. 

_“Where is the emperor of Shiratorizawa!?”_

A gurgling laugh could be heard from the prisoner. Noises coming through the communicator indicated that they were trying to make him speak by force. Kenma swallowed down some bile and tried to focus on what they said, rather than what they were likely doing to him. 

_“Where is the emperor of Shiratorizawa!?”_

_“The little giant shall assemble the heroes”_

Kenma frowned as the prisoner mumbled the same phrase over and over. Maybe he was insane?

_  
“The little giant shall assemble the heroes. They will fight and their energy will feed Kamomedai. We will rise to the top. The little giant shall assemble the heroes…”_

_“Where is the emperor of Shiratorizawa!?”_

_“The little giant shall assemble the heroes. The blood of the emperor will feed Kamomedai. The little giant will... “_

_“So the emperor of Shiratorizawa is dead? Answer!”_

_“Hey I found a map! It says the key is the thumb?”_

_“Which thumb?”_

_“Let’s try his.”_

__

Gurgling noises indicated that the bounty hunters had decided to finally dispose of the lunatic. Kenma swallowed. If the emperor’s blood had fed Kamomedai, did that mean Kuroo’s had too? 

Daichi led them inside a lavish building and they split up to cover all the rooms. Kenma joined Oikawa and they started to go through what looked like an office or study. It seemed people had left in a hurry. Art, books and papers were littered around the room. He picked through the papers to see if anything looked like a map or a list of prisoners, but most of the texts seemed religious in nature. The texts spoke of letting representatives from different planets come together and let their joint work bring glory to Kamomedai. Kenma assumed the interpretation had been a bit...twisted. 

A slight noise alerted them before a short man with crazy eyes and blue and white robes rushed out from behind the desk and almost severed Kenma in two with a nasty-looking sword. Oikawa managed to knock the blade away and pinned the writhing white-haired man to the floor. 

Kenma stared at the grinning face, before gripping the man’s robes and shaking him hard, startling Oikawa. 

“Where is Kuroo Tetsurou?” He bit out. 

“....who?”

“I said, where is Kuroo Tetsuou!”

“I have no idea who you’re talking about,” the man wailed. “Let me go immediately! Do you even know who I am?!”

Kenma and Oikawa shared a look. 

“So you’re an important person here then?” Oikawa pressed. “Where is Iwaizumi Hajime?”

The man on the floor laughed. 

“They have no names here.”

Kenma brought out Kuroo’s photo from his pocket and held it in front of his face. 

“Where is he?!”

“If you’re looking for him, it’s too late,” the man said dismissively. “He was becoming troublesome.”

Kenma stared at him in frozen disbelief, even as the man started to ramble. 

“The little giant shall assemble the heroes. They will fight and their energy will feed Kamomedai. Look at me and me amazed! We will rise to the top…! That cat said I’d only manage small-fry, but I showed him all right. I got the prince, I got the general, I got the emperor! Their blood has fed Kamomedai…!”

“The prince?” Oikawa whispered, clenching his teeth. 

Kenma stared at the grinning face, then at Oikawa, who was beginning to shake, pressing the man to the floor. Kenma’s eyes fell on the sword and he lifted it without thinking to press it against the man’s throat. The large eyes stared back at him, silent for once, as the tip drew a few drops of blood. Oikawa put a hand on his arm and moved the weapon away. Kenma looked at him in disbelief. 

“Oikawa! He…!”

Oikawa rose and took the sword from Kenma’s hand. Even as Kenma opened his mouth to protest, Oikawa plunged it in the robed priest’s heart. Kenma stared at the body and then at Oikawa. 

“You’re not a killer Kenma,” Oikawa said gently. 

As Oikawa called for the others, Kenma cut off the thumb and took one final look at the robed man on the floor, wondering if he’d ever thought his own blood would feed his God as well.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma ran after the others through the corridor, barely registering Daichi using the thumb to open the final door. The sight of the rooms where all the fighters were held made him sick. He’d seen the video, but reality was so much worse. They released any prisoners they found and several of them began moving out of the structure.

Sugawara was the first one they found. Kenma was happy for Daichi and the others, who embraced the pale and weakened man and carefully helped him out of his cell, carrying him as he was unable to walk. Iwaizumi was the next. He was in much better shape, despite his body being littered with evidence of fighting. 

In an adjoining room, they found Bokuto shackled to the wall, his leg bloody. Kenma helped a frantic Akaashi remove the metal and help him up. The man’s big eyes focused on him in recognition, even as he winced in pain when they moved him. 

“Those eyes… you must be Kenma.”

“I am,” Kenma hurried to confirm. 

“Tetsu talked about you a lot.” 

“Do you know where he is?” 

Bokuto’s gaze turned sad and apologetic. 

“I...I haven’t seen him since they took him away. I’m so sorry.”

“Wh...what do you mean?” Kenma asked breathlessly. 

“He was hurt and the wounds got infected. He was very sick, so they dragged him away. I tried to stop them, but they chained me here. I…”

“Do you know where they took him?”

“I don’t know. They usually take ...expendable people that way. The guards call it the pit, though I’ve never seen it.”

Bokuto pointed towards the cellars, as Akaashi steadied him. The structure started to shake and Kenma almost lost his footing while moving towards the door. 

“You go on ahead with him. I am going to get Kuro.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma entered the cellars, looking around frantically in near-darkness. The sparse lights flickered as everything around him shook. The stench made him gag, but he trudged on, looking carefully in every room. The smell became even worse further in and the corridor opened into a room with a big hole in the ground. Kenma swallowed as he moved along the edge. The hole was filled with bodies and body parts. Kenma wasn’t quite sure what would be worse - finding Kuroo here or not.

He brought out his flashlight to see better. None of the bodies looked like Kuroo, but there were so many layers. What if he was further down? The thought of going down there to search through the bodies and bloody limbs made him nauseated. He wouldn’t be able to get up afterwards either. The walls of the pit were polished and sleek, with no possibility of purchase. Kenma realized with a sickening feeling that the design was intentional. 

He narrowed his eyes. Did that body miss an arm? Certainly, more than one person here probably missed an arm, but… Kenma lay down by the edge and peered down, trying to see better. In the sheen of the flashlight, he could make out the body of a man with long dark hair, clearly missing an arm. Most of the body was covered by another, but the arm that was intact was stretched out towards the walls, as if he’d sought to climb out but failed. 

Kenma hesitated. He wouldn’t be able to climb out if he jumped down, let alone with another body to carry. He frantically looked around the room for something to tie his rope to, or use as a ladder, but there was nothing. 

“Kenma!”

Shouyou ran into the room with a hand across his mouth to ward off the stench. 

“Kenma, we need to leave! It’s all going to come apart! Everyone is going back to the ship now. Tanaka is badly hurt. The bounty hunters found the emperor and…”

“Shouyou, can you hold my legs?”

“What?”

“Kuro is down there. I need to check.”

Shouyou stifled his protests and looked down into the pit with a gagging sound.

“Where is he?”

Kenma pointed to the corner and then lay down flat on the floor close to the edge. Shouyou grabbed his legs and held on tight. Kenma swallowed down his panic as he approached the stinking pile of bodies. If Shouyou dropped him now he’d probably be stuck here until he died. Even if he’d be with Kuroo, Kenma felt that was not quite how he’d imagined it. 

As Shouyou lowered him as far as he could go, Kenma reached for the outstretched arm with his own, but couldn’t quite grasp it. Was it cold? Was it warm? He poked it with his flashlight. 

“Kuro?” he whispered. 

The body didn’t move. Kenma tried to get a better look. Surely that stubborn swirl looked like Kuroo’s? 

“Kuro?” he tried, a bit loader. 

Did the body twitch? Kenma swallowed, his mouth dry. 

“Kuro!”

The arm moved slightly, fingers clenching. Kenma stared at it.

“Kuro! Take my hand!”

“Ke...nma…?”

The hoarse voice was barely audible, but there. 

Kenma felt faint. 

“Kuro! Take my hand!”

“...you sound so...real…” the voice whispered. Clearly Kuroo’s, though Kenma had never heard him so weak. 

“Kuro…please!”

“...so real…”

“Kuro”

“...oh gods, I’ve finally gone mad…”

“Kuro!”

Kuroo let out a broken, hopeless, sob. The sound cut Kenma’s heart in two. 

“Kuro _please_!”

“I held on as long as I could....I wanted to see you again so badly...

“Kuro!”

“I can’t want you here...I want you safe...I want you safe...just let me die so I can finally join you....”

“KURO! You’re not dead yet! Now grab my hand or I _will_ come down and die with you!”

The body shuddered and Kenma held his breath just as he held out his hand as far as he could. The arm stretched out and reached for him, trembling. Kenma grabbed it quickly, before it faltered. The hand was far too hot, but Kenma focused on getting a good grip. 

“Shouyou! Can you drag us up?”

“You’re...too heavy!”

“I’ll jump down and push him up!”

“You can’t jump down there! You’ll sink!”

“I’m not leaving without Kuro!”

Takanobu entered the room, peering across the ledge. Kenma had seldom been more glad to see him. He barely registered the tall man joining him, which must be his kidnapped friend. 

“Aone-san!” Hinata yelled. “Grab Kenma’s other leg! We need to pull them both up.”

Kenma took a deep breath and focused on not letting Kuroo’s arm go, as Shouyou and Takanobu pulled them both up from the pit. Once Kuroo’s body was clear from the others, it got a bit easier. 

Kenma was glad he had Takanobu and his friend, as well as Shouyou, to help carry Kuroo’s scorching hot body back to the ship. It would have been hard even without all the shaking. They were the last to arrive at the ship. Takanobu’s staff had managed to repair some of the damages. Tanaka was in the infirmary, but stable. Kenma wondered who’d fly them out. Daichi was a decent pilot, but far from Kiyoko’s level. 

Kenma barely noticed what was going on around him, focused only on Kuroo’s shallow breathing. 

Suga, Asahi and Daichi hugged hard, crying. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were locked in some kind of mix of desperate kissing and hugging. Bokuto and Akaashi were holding hands and talking, while the latter kept pressure on his bleeding leg.

“Where’s Shimizu?” Suga finally asked, looking around.

Daichi and the others looked away. Suga turned even more pale. 

“No…”

Kageyama entered the room. 

“Shimizu will live, probably. Hinata, could you check if we have more plasma?”

Everyone stared at him, flabbergasted. 

“You’re….you’re amazing,” Shouyou gasped, looking star-struck. 

Kagayema looked awkward. 

“Wh...what’s that supposed to mean...you idiot. I’m...not done, but she’s safe for now.” 

As it turned out, Daichi was unable to fly as he was wounded, as was Asahi. 

“Hey, I’m the third best pilot in the galaxy!”

“Fifth Bokuto-san.”

“Akaaashi! Back me up here!”

“The best pilot is obviously Aran,” Oikawa interjected. “The twins and Sakusa are pretty good, but not as good as your Shimizu, or Amanai for that matter. Also, you are wounded too, so I will fly us out and I will stay and help you until you’re back on your feet, as thanks for saving Iwa-chan.”

Kenma only listened to the conversation with one ear, as Shouyou helped him get Kuroo into the medical bay, while Takanobu attended to his friend. Tanaka was unconscious in an adjoining room, covered by a white sheet, stained red. On the nearest bed, Kiyoko was barely recognizable behind all the tubes and bandages. Hitoka hovered next to her. Kageyama ushered her out, as well as Kenma, while Shouyou started to pull on surgical gear. 

“Don’t worry Kenma, Kageyama and I will do our best!”

Kenma nodded woodenly as the door closed behind him. Hitoka gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze and he gratefully squeezed back. 

“Happy birthday Kenma,” she whispered.


	6. “The last ones standing are the victors.”

Kageyama exited the room, looking somewhat haggard. Kenma swallowed thickly. 

“Is he ok?”

“He’s alive, for now.”

Kenma managed to avoid shouting in frustration. Kageyama had been awake all night and he was taciturn even when not dead on his feet. Kenma knew that he and Shouyou had been dividing their time between all patients, trying to prioritize, and hadn’t rested since they left Kamomedai. 

“And he’ll...live?”

Kageyama brought out a few papers. 

“Kuroo-san has an amputated arm. The wound was severe and I had to remove more tissue. The infection caused by the wound had spread, which is causing the fever. In addition to this, he is anemic, malnourished and dehydrated. We are treating the infection now, as well as giving him blood, fluids and nourishment. He’s also getting painkillers. They will keep him asleep, which is for the best right now. Apart from the more acute damages, there are many older wounds, though they are more or less healed. If we can manage to get his fever down and the infection under control, his chances are not bad, though I can offer no guarantees. It’s clear he’s been through a lot of trauma.”

Kenma nodded, swallowing in relief. It was still better news than he’d feared. 

“Can I see him?”

“He’s not awake, but you can see him. Here is his chart, if you wish to read further.”

“Thank you… Tobio.”

Kenma went into the room and sat down next to Kuroo’s bed, taking the time to look at him carefully. Kageyama had obviously treated the arm, which was bandaged. Several IV drips and blood bags were attached to Kuroo’s other arm. His skin was pale under the feverish flush and full of scars and bruises. Kageyama and Hinata had cleaned it enough to treat the wounds, but it was clearly a while since he’d been able to wash himself properly. He was much more muscular than he’d been back home, but thin. Kenma wondered how long he’d been laying among the other bodies and how long he’d been ill. Kuroo’s hair was long and unkept. It barely looked like him.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

When Kenma entered the other room in sickbay later, Bokuto was sitting up, attended by Akaashi. Kenma nodded to Hitoka, who was seated next to Kiyoko’s bed.

“Kenma! Come in!”

“Bokuto-san, Keiji, Hitoka.”

“How is Tetsu doing?”

“Hopefully he’ll be fine. He’s not awake yet though.”

“I’m glad. He was...my best friend over there and we’d all be lost without him.”

“Could you tell me a bit more? If you are up to it?”

Bokuto swallowed, but eventually nodded. 

“When I arrived, this crazy white-haired guy said I had to fight the others to ‘feed their God’. At first, I was obviously going to refuse, but Tetsu told me what happened to the others who did, and that we were going to try to get someone out, so I complied. Tetsu had been there for quite a while and had managed to team up with several good people. When he first arrived, there were some others guys there and they… were not very kind to him.”

Kenma swallowed as Bokuto seemed to debate how much to tell him. 

“He was mistreated by them quite a lot - beaten and abused. Not just him, but everyone new really. Then he managed to team up with some of the others and a few of the bullies died in the arena, so after that Tetsu was in a better situation. Suga managed to bribe one of the guards into giving us a camera, but unfortunately he disappeared soon after that, so we couldn’t get more things. We were going to film more info, but we were discovered and this kid only barely managed to get out while we made a ruckus to distract them. They killed several as punishment and the rest of us were in pretty bad shape.”

Bokuto looked somber, before he picked up. 

“Tetsu provoked that crazy white-haired high priest a lot. He said they only got small-fry, like him, and that he’d never satisfy their God that way. It worked I guess, since there were many more fighters being taken and more high-profile people too. It back-fired on Tetsu though. The priest eventually got mad at him and rigged a fight in the arena where he hurt his arm. That’s when they cut it off and then he got so sick. We tried to treat him, but he only got weaker. Until...they took him away.”

Bokuto rubbed his wet eyes. 

“He talked about you all the time you know. They told us all our friends were dead and that our planets were blown up, but we didn’t believe them. Not fully at least.”

“Well, we’re all here now,” Keiji said. “We couldn’t quite believe it when Yachi called and called us to Dateko.”

Kenma turned towards Hitoka. 

“How is she?”

Hitoka gave a wobbly smile, looking down at her hand clasping Kiyoko’s. 

“Given her wound, it’s a miracle she’s still alive. I feel like I should have done something earlier, but I know what to do now. For once in my life. When she wakes up...”

“Positive thinking Ya-chan!” Bokuto said, encouragingly.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

It seemed like most people on board were wounded and the rest busy taking care of them. The term ‘licking your wounds’ had never felt more appropriate, Kenma thought. With Tobio and Shouyou working non-stop on the more acute medical aspects, there was plenty left for the others to do.

Kenma entered Kuroo’s room and looked carefully at him to see if he could spot any difference in his condition. Kenma frequently just sat next to the hospital bed to work or think, or take a nap. Being able to ascertain that Kuroo was alive and listen to his breathing was calming, after so long spent wondering if he’d ever see him again, or if he’d be too late. He had in fact almost been too late and the thought still made him anxious. It might still be.... After all, Kuroo had yet to wake up. Being here and doing anything to make his best friend more comfortable was all the therapy he needed. 

At first, Kenma had been reluctant to do something about Kuroo’s hair. Maybe he wanted to keep it long? Kuroo had mentioned he liked long hair, back home, but Kenma hadn’t gotten the impression that he meant his own. His hair had always looked the same - spiky and wild - and Kenma honestly quite liked it that way. He wondered what Kuroo would say about his own hair, which was by now longer than it had ever been back on Nekoma and certainly another colour. What would he think of it? It had been three years since Kenma had felt Kuroo’s hands in his hair and he missed it desperately. 

“Kuro, I am going to wash and cut your hair. Is that ok with you?” Kenma spoke softly, even if he knew Kuroo wouldn’t reply. He liked talking to Kuroo anyway, and had always found it easy and somewhat soothing. 

“If you want to grow your hair out again afterwards, that’s fine. But it’s a bit unkempt and dirty, so I think you’ll feel better if I wash it and trim it down to what you’re used to.”

Kenma received no reaction to his words, so he got on with it. After cutting off the longer parts and beginning to see Kuroo’s old features, he got more bold with the scissors. After washing the hair, he made sure to dry it well so Kuroo wouldn’t be cold, running his hands through the strands. He looked like Kuro again. 

Once he was done with the hair, Kenma got to work with the rest of Kuroo’s body, washing every part he could reach with a damp cloth, trying not to think about where he’d gotten each scar he encountered. He didn’t rest until the stench of death was gone from Kuroo’s skin. 

Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but he thought Kuroo looked more relaxed afterwards.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kuroo refrained from opening his eyes and made sure to keep his breathing calm and his body still. Reality seemed considerably less hot and dizzy today and although it was a relief, that meant facing reality too. These past few days - or was it weeks, months? - had been a heavenly haze of rest and reprieve. People hadn’t ceased to prod and work on him, but they seemed to care not to hurt him more than necessary. At least he thought so. His brain hadn’t been cooperating and his body had been too heavy to even contemplate planning to escape. Frankly, he hadn’t wanted to. He’d felt safe. Cared for.

Kuroo shifted his legs in microscopic movements. No restraints, good. He made the same shift in his torso and felt no belt or ropes to hold him down. When he tried to shift his arms he almost let out a panicked scream. He couldn’t feel his left arm! Or rather, it didn’t respond. He desperately wanted to check further, but kept his eyes firmly shut and forced himself to keep still. Breathe. Memories resurfaced. His arm was gone. That part hadn’t been a dream, nor the blinding pain and the fever that followed. To avoid thinking about it he shifted his right arm instead. It was at least still there - and not tied down either. Good, now to get out this bed and find a way out. 

Kuroo slowly opened his eyes, a millimeter at the time. The light in the room was dimmed, but still hurt his eyes at first. White ceiling, obviously a medical facility, but not big or hyper modern. Distant voices, but not in this room, a low humming in the background. He strained his ears to confirm the noise. So he was on a ship. He needed to get to a shuttle or escape pod. First things first though. He needed clothes, food and maybe a weapon. He’d heard multiple voices, so the ship was far from empty. He’d have to be careful. Kuroo’s gaze slowly made wider circles around the room. Cupboards. Desk. Chairs. Heart monitor. Oxygen mask. Surgical tools. Good, he might be able to use some of them as weapons, if need be. Surgical garb. It would work if he found nothing else. He wasn’t quite sure what he was wearing currently, but he’d need to blend in. One door to his right. One bigger in front of him. He needed…

The previously distant voices came closer. Damn! Kuroo quickly looked around the room again and then assumed his previous immobile position. The voices were familiar; he’d often heard them when he’d been half-conscious. A curt, professional tone. The doctor. An excited, happy one. The other doctor? The nurse? A softer and quiet voice. Ah, his favourite. A constant soothing presence. 

“I am famished! What do you think Yachi has prepared for us today?” the bubblier of the voices exclaimed. 

“Don’t even think about eating until you’re finished with all your chores!” came a curt and clipped reply. 

“I’ve completed everything, Bakegayama! There’s just inventory left. I can do that later.”

“You’ve obviously forgotten we’re doing the initial adjustments on Shimizu-san’s hip this afternoon.”

“I didn’t forget! We still need to eat. You too! You’re so grumpy when you’re hungry.”

“No, I…”

“If you forget to eat and sleep again, you’re going to make mistakes when you operate,” the sunny voice sing-songed. 

“Fine, fine, let’s go eat.” 

The testy voice let out a resigned noise and Kuroo heard them shuffle around just outside the door in front of him. Perfect, if they were all going to eat now he might be able to move around more freely. 

“I’m coming later,” the third voice said. “I think I’ll stay a little longer.”

“You were here all night! You need to eat and rest too!”

“I will, I promise. I just need to stay a while.”

“If you’re not eating in 15 minutes, I’ll come and get you myself Kenma! I’m not kidding!”

“I’m not that hungry Shouyou, but fine.”

Kuroo stopped breathing. ...Kenma? No, it couldn’t be. He was still dreaming. He had to be. Kenma was far away, or dead. Maybe he was dead, too? Wasn’t heaven supposed to be white and containing loved ones? Or maybe they just had the same name? Not that it was common, but it was still possible. Certainly more possible than Kenma being here. He couldn’t be that lucky, even though he’d dreamed of it happening so many times. 

Kuroo held his breath when the door opened and someone walked slowly closer to his bed and pulled up a chair, sitting down. A sigh and a yawn could be heard and then a pen scribbling on paper. Kuroo wanted to open his eyes, but then he’d just be disappointed. He felt so tired. Maybe he should fall back asleep and never wake up again. He could just remain here eternally, listening to that voice. Kenma’s voice. 

Kuroo struggled to fall back asleep, but his mind was screaming. He _had_ to look, even if he’d be disappointed. Very slowly, he opened his eyes, focusing on the figure next to his bed. Blond hair framed a face he couldn’t see. Kenma wasn’t blond, but the whole posture was just...him. The way he sat was Kenma. Even the way he held the pen was just...Kenma. The way his hair moved. It was longer than he remembered, but it still had a stubborn lock pointing slightly upwards. Kuroo felt his throat tighten. He wanted to say Kenma’s name, but he couldn’t get any part of his body to cooperate at the moment. He gasped out a croaking sound. 

Kenma turned his head in a quick movement and the large golden eyes pulled him in. He couldn’t move, or speak, or breathe. 

“Kuro?”

Kuroo closed his eyes, but then quickly opened them again. He never wanted to close them again. He’d never seen Kenma make that face before and he desperately wanted to commit it to memory. 

“Kenma,” he croaked out, his mouth dry. 

He must have been struggling to sit up, as Kenma moved closer and took his hand even as he steadied his shoulder. Kuroo looked down at the hand holding his. It was small, but calloused and scarred and much stronger than it looked, just like all of Kenma. 

“Kenma”, he finally managed to whisper clearly enough to be heard. 

“I’m here,” Kenma said, sounding a bit hoarse himself. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

And because it was Kenma saying so, Kuroo believed him instantly. It must be true if Kenma said so. He was safe and Kenma was here, holding his hand, his face looking both familiar and not. His eyes were still golden and huge, but the dark rings underneath them had gotten bigger and the face somewhat more lean. Was he taller? Maybe a bit. Slightly more muscular too, even though he was still small. And that hair...

Kuroo tried to move his left hand to the blond hair and winced in slight panic. He'd forgotten again. Kenma’s eyes widened and he quickly put a calming hand on his chest. 

“I built a new arm for you, but it’s not 100% ready yet.” 

Kuroo let out a short laugh in disbelief. He didn’t have an arm, so of course Kenma had made him a new one. How had the universe managed to produce one person this wonderful?

Kuroo’s right hand moved to Kenma’s blond hair, as if to reassure himself again that this was real. Even with the new colour, it felt just as silky as the last time he’d held the tresses in his hand. 

...the last time, when he’d caressed Kenma’s cheek and made his best friend in the whole world flinch away from him. 

God, he’d been such an idiot. He’d thought of that moment countless times since then and vowed never to scare Kenma ever again, if he’d only get the chance. Kuroo managed a small smile and gave Kenma’s hair a final ruffle that made his face scrunch up in an achingly familiar way. 

As his arm moved away, Kenma’s small hand grabbed his and resolutely pulled it towards his cheek. Kuroo stopped breathing again as he felt his hand press against the smooth and warm skin. 

“I was just surprised. I was going to tell you, but you were gone.”

Kuroo’s head swam as Kenma’s words made their way inside his brain. 

“Oh. Ok.” 

Smooth Kuroo. Eloquent. Not that Kenma seemed to care at the moment. So he hadn’t been afraid? Kuroo had spent so much time remembering that scene over and over that Kenma’s reaction had come to mean everything from fear to disgust. The relief should have made him happy, so of course he started crying instead. 

As he felt Kenma’s arms move around him and his hands stroke his hair, he found that he didn’t care at the moment. He was safe. Kenma was here. That was the only thing that mattered. He was so very tired, but this time he didn’t want to fall asleep. 

“Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“...promise?”

“I promise. I’ll be here.”

And because it was Kenma saying so, Kuroo believed it. Kenma was here, so everything would be fine.


	7. “Our challenge lies ahead of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus update for Kuroo's birthday!

Kenma hadn’t imagined that Kuroo would jump out of bed once he woke up, but he had underestimated how much it hurt to see him struggle. Still, being able to just talk again was a relief and he took some comfort in hearing Kuroo’s voice grow steadier every day. 

At first, they just talked. A lot. Once Kuroo had reassured himself that he was definitely not going back to Kamomedai, he wanted to hear everything that had happened to Kenma since they saw each other last. Kenma indulged him and talked until he was hoarse. 

Maybe he had needed that too.

When Kenma brought Kuroo the arm he admitted to himself that he was nervous, but Kuroo’s amazed reaction was gratifying and he seemed eager to try it out. 

“You don’t have to use it,” Kenma said, just to make sure Kuroo wasn’t forcing himself. “I made it just in case. And you can always take it off later. I wanted to have it done for your birthday, but you were still asleep then, so I couldn’t make the final adjustments. 

“You made it for me, so of course I want to wear it. I’m just surprised. You never did this kind of work before.”

“I’ve been...learning. And building it gave me something to do when we were looking for you.”

“How did you know...that I needed one?”

“We found a video,” Kenma said carefully. “You...were in it.”

“So you saw…?”

“Yes.” Kenma swallowed. 

“So he did get it out?” Kuroo whispered. “Is he…?”

“I’m sorry.”

Kuroo sighed. 

“He volunteered. After his friend...partner died, he.. But at least he got out.”

“True.”

Kenma fitted the artificial arm to Kuroo’s stump, but froze when Kuroo flinched. 

“It’s fine. I can assure you I’ve had worse.”

Kuroo’s voice was flippant, as it so often was when he spoke of the more horrifying events he’d been through. It made Kenma grind his teeth in frustration. 

“Maybe I don’t want to be the cause of your pain,” he muttered. 

Kuroo glanced up at him from his position on the bed. 

“Hey…”

When Kenma didn’t reply, Kuroo sighed and wrapped an arm around his midriff. 

“You know, this would be so much easier if I had two arms…”

Kenma snorted, as Kuroo had known he would. 

Eventually, when he was done, Kuroo wrapped both arms around him and sighed in contentment. 

“It’s wonderful. Thank you so much,” Kuroo murmured against his stomach, his voice a bit thick.

Kenma was glad that he couldn’t see his face right then, because staying composed was proving difficult. 

“Wait, I didn’t get you a birthday present.”

“My birthday was the day we found you Kuro. That has been the only thing on my wishlist since you were taken from me.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Most days, Kuroo would join Kenma in the engine room, just watching him work. Kenma didn’t want to tell him how much he appreciated it, or he’d be all obnoxious. Apart from being a great comfort, it was also the easiest way to make Kuroo talk. Back home, Kuroo would often sit next to him while he worked, talking about his day, his thoughts and plans. Luckily, he hadn’t lost the habit.

“Suga-chan was great. He’s not very strong, but he’s just so good at...motivating people and he could make the fights look good. We survived a long time just by doing that. They were more interested in pleasing the crowds than killing us off, as long as it looked like we bled and suffered as much as possible. Things got both more interesting and more dangerous when they got Bo and the others. The fighting got more intense and hazardous. The youngsters couldn’t keep up.”

Kuroo paused, looking somber, before continuing. 

“I’d say the worst part was… having to kill and watching people die. I never want to do either again.”

“I don’t think there was anyone left but me from three years ago. They took so many people. Too many to get to know well. And you didn’t even want to after a while, since they could all be gone the next day.”

“But you still did anyway,” Kenma remarked.

Kuroo huffed. “Yeah...I still did.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma thought Sugawara looked more healthy each day, but he’d been in bad shape when they found him. While Daichi was wounded too, he was still capable of helping out a lot, clearly enjoying the opportunity to finally pamper his husband a bit. Tobio had placed them in Daichi’s quarters and the small space was cramped with medical equipment.

“Oh Kuroo-chan, looking mightily pale there,” Sugawara quipped from his bed. “Your hair is only covering half your face now; not sure if that’s an improvement. The arm looks nice though. Good job Kenma!”

“Oh hey Suga-chan, you’re still alive,” Kuroo smirked. 

“Kuro, this is Sugawara Daichi, our captain,” Kenma gestured. 

“Oya, you’re Suga-chan’s Daichi. I’ve heard a lot about you. I thought you would be taller.”

Kenma was going to kick Kuroo for being annoying, but frankly he was too happy to see the old smirk back. Daichi offered a semi-strained smile back as the two shook hands. 

“Nice to see you awake.” 

Kenma joined Sugawara in a fond eye roll.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

“Tooru is taking care of the ship while Daichi is with Sugawara,” Kenma said, as he walked with Kuroo around the ship, showing him around. “He’s going to stay until Daichi is back on his feet.”

“I’ve heard a lot about Oikawa from Iwa,” Kuroo said. “It’ll be nice to finally meet him. Remind me to thank him for dealing the killing blow, though it probably made him a few enemies.”

Kenma nodded. “He won’t be able to go back for a while, that’s for sure. This is also why we are laying low right now. We don’t want to put any of our homes in danger. Tooru said he had other plans once they are done here. Apparently, Aoba Yousai is bankrupt, though it’s not widely known, so we needed to get to Iwaizumi before the Bounty Hunters, or they’d have used him in their conflict with Shiratorizawa,” Kenma supplied, as Kuroo nodded in interest. 

“Iwa did tell me a bit about that conflict, though I don’t think he dislikes Waka that much anymore, so that will be fun.”

“Did you all use nicknames? Seriously Kuro,” Kenma groaned. 

“We have a club,” Kuroo grinned. “We are going to meet once a year and celebrate that we are alive. Even Waka promised to come. We’re going to get matching shirts or something. And embarrassing chants.”

“That does sound like you, I guess,” Kenma said, hiding a smile.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

“You should see Takanobu’s workshop Kuro,” Kenma mused as he checked over the engine. “It’s huge and so organized, easily ten times my old workshop on Nekoma.”

“Sounds like you made a good friend there,” Kuroo said easily, from his position on a chair not too far away. 

“I guess…I might go back to visit, that’s for sure. I want you to meet him too, since they left before you woke up.”

“My Kenma, the space traveller,” Kuroo grinned. 

“Shut up.”

“I’m glad, seriously. It seems like you’ve met a lot of good people here.”

“They’re nice. Just kind of crazy.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Once Kuroo was able to move around more, Kenma suggested they try their regular morning routine again. Kuroo was still weak, but Tobio had approved light exercise and Kenma thought it would be good for him. Kuroo’s initial hesitance soon morphed into their regular flow. Afterwards, Kenma met Kuroo’s tired but contented grin.

“Thank you, I missed this.”

“Me too.”

“Have you been slacking off?”

“No.”

“You have. That third one was all wobbly.”

“Shut up,” Kenma muttered. “I haven’t.”

“You have.”

“I didn’t want to do them alone,” Kenma muttered. 

“Well, I’m here now, so we’ll do them together every morning again, right?”

“Yeah.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Having so many experienced fighters with them on jobs - even the peaceful ones - made a huge difference. Kenma had feared for his safety several times on earlier missions, even if Asahi was capable enough and he seldom had to be involved himself. Kenma was a decent fighter, but lacked both the stamina and experience for more than the occasional skirmish - and he didn’t look very menacing. Having Kuroo, Bokuto and Iwaizumi with them made the trip feel like child’s play. They looked so intimidating that no one even dared to bother them.

They were almost at the rendez-vous point when the ambush struck.

Kenma felt like he did nothing but spinning around. Dodging, ducking, kicking, slashing out with his knife, again and again. Everyone was moving so fast, round and round. He scrambled to find the storm’s eye to catch his breath for just a few seconds. Something lunged at him from the corner of his eye and he recoiled instinctively, feeling the blade of his attacker swoop by his face, so close he could almost feel it touch his nose. Kenma wheeled back and brought up his knife. 

And felt it slip from his numb fingers. 

Sweat, he thought, as he frantically scrambled backwards, trying to get away. _How pathetic_.

The attacker’s eyes bulged as the knife emerged straight through his throat and blood splattered all over Kenma. Kuroo stood where the attacker had fallen, looking at him with wide eyes slowly turning hollow and haunted. 

Kenma stared in horror at Kuroo’s devastated face. He wanted to reach out to him, but they all had to scramble back to the speeder. _Later_ , Kenma thought, though he hated having that thought echoing in his head. 

He didn’t get an opportunity in the speeder either. Kuroo was talking quietly with Bokuto in a corner, which honestly hurt. A lot. Back when they were younger, Kuroo would always come to _him_ for comfort, even if it was just sitting in Kenma’s room moping sometimes. 

“Kenma, are you hurt?”

Kenma turned to Shouyou with a grateful look. 

“I’m ok. It’s not my blood.”

“You don’t look ok though. What happened?”

“We were ambushed. I screwed up and Kuro had to…”

“Kuroo-san had to save you? Are you upset about that?”

“Not that. He had to kill again. Like in the arena. You should have seen his face when he realized what he’d done. And it was all my fault. If only I’d been strong enough, he wouldn’t have to…”

“I’m sure he’s not upset with you.”

“He should be.”

“Talk to him, ok?” 

Shouyou gave his shoulder a squeeze and moved along to help patch up the others. 

“I will.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

As much as he was determined to talk to Kuroo - today, not tomorrow - it was proving difficult. Not only did they have work to do, but Kuroo was actively avoiding him. Kenma didn’t get his chance until later that evening, when they were all turning in.

Kuroo turned around and froze when Kenma entered his room, closing the door carefully behind him. 

Kenma opened his mouth, though he didn’t get the chance to speak. 

“It’s ok. You don’t have to hide your feelings to spare me, Kenma.” Kuroo’s voice was flat and self-depreciating. 

Kenma frowned. He didn’t like it. 

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all day. You’ve been avoiding me.” 

“Yeah, well, I was going to talk to you too, but you were cosying up with Shorty, so I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“When I wanted to talk to _you_ , you were talking with Bokuto.” Kenma exclaimed. 

“I needed to talk to...someone who would understand.” 

“I see,” Kenma muttered, even as he swallowed down the pang of hurt he felt at the words. “Not me then.”

“You weren’t there. I’m just...too damaged.”

Kuroo’s shoulders slumped. 

“Maybe you should have left me there.”

“Don’t say that!” Kenma bit out. 

“I’m a monster.”

“Stop saying that!” 

“But I am a monster Kenma. The last mission just proved it. I’d hoped you would never have to see it.”

“Kuro, please stop it,” Kenma whispered. 

“You’re right. I should stop. Stop pretending I could ever go back to the way things were. Monsters like me don’t belong anywhere.”

Kuroo moved towards the door. Kenma felt like screaming. Why didn’t he scream? Kuroo couldn’t just leave. Not again. Why didn’t his mouth work? Maybe he couldn’t scream because he couldn’t breathe? But if he couldn’t scream, Kuroo was going to leave. 

Kuroo was going to leave him. Again. 

He couldn’t get any air into his lungs, but he screamed anyway. Black and white spots danced in front of his eyes as he staggered.

Kuroo stopped at the door and turned at the noise, running back towards him in panic as he saw him sag to the ground. Kenma clung to him, determined not to let go until he could speak. Kuroo’s face was white in fear, trying to determine where he was hurt. The idiot. 

“Please,” Kenma managed to get out. “Please don’t leave.”

“Kenma, please breathe. Take a deep breath for me, ok?”

Kenma wanted to hit him. He didn’t have time to breathe right now. 

“Please don’t cry Kenma,” Kuroo begged. “Just breathe. I’m right here.”

Was he crying? He hadn’t noticed. 

“You were going to leave,” he croaked. “You were going to leave me again.”

“I just thought… I never wanted you to see that. What I was really like.”

Kenma frowned. 

“You saved my life.”

“I killed him.”

“He was going to kill me. All because I was too weak.”

“You’re not weak,” Kuroo protested. 

“I am. If only I’d trained more, I could have disposed of that guy myself. You wouldn’t have to...relive that.”

Kuroo fell silent. The only audible sound in the room was Kenma’s increasingly calmer breathing. 

“I’d relive everything. All of it. To save you,” Kuroo whispered. 

“I don’t want you to have to. Not for me.”

“You’re the most important person in my life. I’d do anything for you, you know that.”

“Then don’t leave.”

“I was coming back!”

“It happened before... You, not coming back.”

“I promise I will never leave you again.”

“You can’t promise me that.”

“I promise that I will never _willingly_ leave you again.”

Kenma smiled slightly. “Fair enough.”

Kenma relaxed against Kuroo’s broad frame. He was exhausted. This day had sucked all the energy out of him. Kuroo brought him to bed and made no protests when Kenma pulled him down next to him. He just cradled him again, running his fingers through his hair. Kenma sighed in relief and burrowed as close as possible.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma couldn’t shake his feeling that there was something he was missing. Kuroo was physically fine, but their respective breakdowns earlier made him aware they both had some healing left to do. That Kuroo had nightmares and demons from his ordeal was understandable, but Kenma hadn’t realized he might have so many issues too. More time would help, he guessed, but what else? And what were they going to do once this was all over? Karasuno felt small now, especially with everyone still staying there. Kenma knew they would soon wave goodbye to many of their newfound friends. They were only waiting until everyone, especially Kiyoko and Suga, were fully healed. Karasuno was their home, not his. Not really.

Home…

Kenma thought of the gentle sound of wind-chimes and Nekomata’s patient lessons, the breeze of the forest and the soft green moss around the pool just outside their house. 

_Home…_

He’d rescued Kuroo, but Kuroo hadn’t been brought back home. And neither had he.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

_Daichi, I have a suggestion._

Daichi had thought the idea was good and the others on board were eager to see Nekoma. Kuroo had been apprehensive. Kenma could kind of understand that, but at the same time, they’d been catching up with a few of their friends through communicator and Kuroo had even talked to Nekomata briefly, so he wasn’t quite sure why Kuroo was nervous. Then again, he was all nerves himself. Ridiculous. It was just home. And he was mainly doing this for Kuroo. Still, the thought of being able to sit by the pool again - with Kuroo next to him - was a calming one. He’d missed it. This would be good for both of them. 

Banners of red and white and black and gold - Kuroo’s and Kenma’s family colours, floated in the wind to greet them when they arrived. Kenma saw Kuroo stiffen and felt him take his hand as they exited the ship. He’d probably have done the same if Kuroo hadn’t. The rest of the crew held back and let them descend first. Nekomata was waiting nearby, looking the same as ever in many ways, but his hair was whiter and he was sitting in a chair instead of standing firm. His eyes were blank and Kenma hoped he wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself if Nekomata cried now. 

Kuroo ran to Nekomata and threw his arms around his middle, already shaking when Nekomata’s hands started to stroke his head.

"My boy,” Nekomata choked. 

Well, there was no stopping it now. Kenma looked on the scene with tears running down his cheeks. 

After a while, Nekomata held out an arm towards him. 

“Kenma. Come.” 

Kenma nodded and walked slowly towards them both. He didn’t want to disturb their moment, but at the same time, he wanted nothing else but to put his head on Nekomata’s knee too. And he hadn’t done that since he was eight. 

Nekomata took his hand and pulled him closer. 

“Both of you,” he choked. “Both my sons are home again.”

Kenma closed his eyes, letting Nekomata hold him while he cried.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma felt raw, but alive, as he sat in his old spot by the pool together with Kuroo as the afternoon turned into evening. There was a soothing quality to the sounds and smells of Nekoma that you couldn’t get elsewhere, especially not on a spaceship.

They’d talked with Nekomata for hours. Kuroo had also talked to him about the Arts, of course. Kenma knew he’d been afraid Nekomata would think he’d desecrated the Arts somehow, but Nekomata’s reassurances had made Kuroo’s tensions lighter. Kenma had thought he’d run out of tears, but then Nekomata had brought out gifts for them for all of the years they’d been gone and it had all started over. They were home. And it was wonderful. 

Kuroo rose and held out his hand. Kenma took it without thinking, looking at him searchingly. 

“Let’s go.”

Kenma was going to ask where they were going, but before he had the chance to open his mouth he recognized the path Kuroo was taking and felt some trepidation. He hadn’t been back to their spot since that night. He was glad for that now though, because seeing it without Kuroo would have felt wrong and incomplete. 

The walk through the forest was beautiful. A lot of Nekoma was different, rebuilt from the attack. In many ways though, Nekoma was even more lovely than before. The fires had destroyed a lot of the vegetation, but the regrown parts were lush and green as they were sprinkled with pink petals. Many he knew were gone. Some had perished back then, others had died from old age and many had left the planet, just like he had. Still, a lot was familiar and new young and eager students were gathering around Nekomata, looking bright-eyed and happy. 

Kuroo and Kenma stopped and looked where their spot had been. If the area hadn’t been so ingrained in Kenma’s brain, he wouldn’t have recognized it. Kuroo didn’t appear too upset to find the tree gone and smiled briefly when they saw some of the kids play nearby. With the forest less dense than before, more people ventured into these parts of the woods. Kenma was surprised to feel that it was fitting. Honestly, he would have expected to feel more...sad, or at least childishly upset that their space had been taken over. Instead, he was content to see some of Nekomata’s students among the group. He sat down with Kuroo next to a young tree further away and they looked in silence as the children explored the woods, just like they had once done. 

“If I hadn’t let you leave that night...you wouldn’t have been taken,” Kenma said, staring straight ahead. 

“You don’t know that,” Kuroo replied. “And if we had still been in the tree when the attack hit, we’d probably both be dead instead.”

“You don’t know that either.”

“You said you were hit shortly after descending the tree, so it’s likely.” 

“I always wondered what I could have done differently. There were so many ways you wouldn’t have been taken and they all involved me. If you’d left Nekoma after graduation, instead of staying with me. If you hadn’t been with me that night. If I hadn’t...if I had stopped you from leaving.”

“None of that was your fault. Nekoma wasn’t their only target, so I could very well have been taken if I’d been away on another planet too. There was nowhere else I wanted to be that night - or in general - and it wasn’t your fault - or mine - that they decided to hit our planet or chose me specifically. And as for...I was the one who made you uncomfortable. I’ve never forgiven myself for that.”

“I don’t think I was. Not really. I had no reason to be. I was just surprised and tired. Maybe if it hadn’t been that night, I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I was going to bring it up with you the next day.”

“If it hadn’t been that night, I might not have decided to be so hasty. I was also cursing myself as I left and planned what to say to you the next day.”

“What were you going to say?” Kenma wondered. 

“I...well at that time, I was probably going to beg you to forgive me and blame it on the special night,” Kuroo admitted wryly. “I was young and hasty - and selfish.”

“But now you’re old?” Kenma deadpanned, but then cursed himself for sounding too flippant when they were finally talking about it. 

Kuroo didn’t seem to mind though. 

“Older at least. Still not very wise, but hopefully a bit less selfish.” 

“You were never selfish. You always considered my feelings in doing everything. If anything, you had the opposite problem.”

“It was never a problem. Not then and not now.”

Kenma leaned against Kuroo’s side with a sigh. 

“I’m happy that you’re back here with me.”

“Believe me, I’m happy too.”

Kenma did wonder what they’d do next though. This trip would be good for Kuroo - and for himself - but Karasuno was going to leave soon. Bokuto and Akaashi were going back to Fukurodani and Iwaizumi with Oikawa back to Aoba Yousai, or elsewhere. Takanobu was long back on Dateko. Everyone was going back home, to do what they’d intended to do before being snatched away. The thought of just going back to what he’d done here felt...unsatisfactory somehow. Last he’d been here he’d been about to graduate, go to the onsen with Kuroo, then work in mechanics. He could open a shop here of course - and Kuroo… Did Kuroo still want to go to space?

Whatever they were going to do, they’d have to decide it together.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Nekomata had offered him a reflector engine again, mainly as a joke though. Kenma smiled at the memory. He’d wanted it so badly back then, but now he had no idea what to do with it. He wanted to build other things and learn _more_. Heck, he could probably build one himself. Nekomata had asked him what he wanted instead, even though Kenma tried to tell him he’d helped him buy his first ticket off the planet before and that it was far more than what was customary for any graduation present.

“Back then, I’d planned to ask you for a trip to the onsen and take Kuro with me.”

“Excellent idea! You know, Fukunaga’s boy runs the place now.”

“Shouhei?” 

Kenma blinked. Hadn’t Yaku mentioned that their quirky friend had been one of the first to leave the planet after Kenma? He hadn’t heard from him in ages. The last he heard from Tora was that they were working together in a spice mine. 

“He came back a while ago. Said space was nice, but now he wanted to settle down. At least I think that was what he said.”

Kenma smiled.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kuroo seemed both happy and apprehensive about going to the onsen.

“Kuro? Don’t you want to go?”

Kuroo swallowed. “I do want to go, but to be honest I think I’m going to scare the other guests.”

“It’s just going to be me and you. It’s a private area.”

“Really?”

“Shouhei said so. So unless you think you’ll scare me…”

Kuroo smiled slightly. 

“No, I think you’ve seen worse.”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Despite his agreement, Kuroo still looked hesitant when they entered the bath.

“Kuro, I’ve changed your bandages daily. Hell, I bathed you and cut your hair back when you were unconscious.”

Kuroo stared at him with wide eyes. 

“That was you?” He whispered. 

Kenma swallowed down some slight panic. 

“I remember that. Kind of,” Kuroo said softly. 

“I didn’t think you were awake.”

“I wasn’t really. I thought it was a dream.”

“Um... good dream? Bad dream? Acceptable dream?”

“I felt safe,” Kuroo offered Kenma a quick smile. “I should have known it was you.”

Honestly, Kenma thought, turning to hide his increasingly red cheeks. Who allowed Kuroo to say these things with a straight face?

“Let’s get you clean then,” he said briskly. 

“Me? What about you?”

“I’m not the one who trained with Nekomata for three hours this morning.”

“No, you’re the one all covered in grease after overhauling the speeder.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not”

“Are too.”

Shouhei turned up with two buckets, which he gave to them and ushered them into the bath, effectively shutting them up.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kuroo and Kenma slowly made their way into the washing area. The sight made Kenma itch to be clean. Really clean. He quickly shrugged off his clothes and put them in the designated area, walking towards the taps almost in a trance. He could feel Kuroo beside him, but he didn’t look at him until they sat down next to each other on the wooden stools. Kuroo had removed the arm, though it was built to withstand water.

“I know I could wear it, but I just want to remove everything, you know?”

Kenma nodded. “I’ll wash your hair.”

“I can wash it with one hand.”

“I know.”

Kuroo shut up and turned so that his back was facing Kenma. Kenma took his time to fill the bucket and pour it over Kuroo, watching him shudder and sigh in relief. Kenma was glad Kuroo was facing away from him right now, because watching Kuroo’s back was making his eyes wet and he didn’t want Kuroo to think he minded seeing his body, after his earlier apprehension. He wasn’t horrified watching the scars, he just ached. He could have brought Kuroo here years ago. A Kuroo who didn’t have to suffer or bleed or cry. He imagined their younger selves here, bickering lightly and maybe washing each others’ backs. 

“Kenma?”

“Just thinking. Close your eyes.”

Kuroo hummed. Kenma let a few more buckets pour over Kuroo’s head, watching his shoulders relax more and more after each one. He washed Kuroo’s hair, taking the time to massage his scalp long and thoroughly, even if Kuroo’s sighing noises when he did so were quite distracting. Such a big cat. 

Kenma allowed Kuroo to wash his hair too. He didn’t mind the extra time it took before Kuroo had managed to get all of the shampoo out, using one hand. 

“Your hair is getting long,” Kuroo murmured, letting his fingers run through the wet tresses. 

“I can’t decide what to do with it. I bleached it to blend in and then I just kept doing it. I stopped when I came to Karasuno. It looks a bit weird now.”

“It doesn’t look weird.”

“Do you think I should keep it?”

“You shouldn’t keep it long just because I think so. I’m partial to long hair, you know.”

“I know,” Kenma mumbled. “It’ll be a pain to take care of though.”

“I can take care of it for you.”

Kenma snorted, though he suspected Kuroo would indeed do just that. The thought of Kuroo taking care of his hair regularly was honestly not unappealing at all. 

“Let’s wash your back.”

Kenma shrubbed Kuroo’s back far longer than he had to, but Kuroo seemed to enjoy it so much. By the time they had scrubbed every part of their bodies, Kenma felt cleaner than he’d ever been. He almost feared they would both fall asleep in the onsen, but they didn’t. The chilly breeze on his cheeks, the wet towel on his head and the steaming water around him were soothing though. Kuroo’s solid shoulder next to his head grounded him and Kuroo’s slow and steady breathing told him he was just as bonelessly relaxed as he was. 

“When Karasuno is back to full strength,” Kenma said after a long time. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. What about you? What do you want to do? Do you want to stay here?”

“Be honest Kuro. Tell me where you want to go. Anywhere you want.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to be where you are.”

“I’m going to be where you are too, so please tell me what you want to do. For real.”

Kuroo was silent for a long time, but Kenma didn’t rush him, content to wait.

“I want…to study more.”

“What do you want to study?”

“I’m not sure. I like science, but I don’t know which direction to specialize in. I’ve been away awhile too, so I’d need to refresh and think.”

“So somewhere with a big university then.”

“Somewhere you’d be happy too.”

“I will be.”

“Kenma…”

“I’m sure we can find a place where both our specialities could co-exist Kuro. Space is pretty big after all.”

“You don’t… you don’t want to stay here then? You always wanted to before.”

“Maybe later. I don’t mind spending a few years elsewhere, studying. I’ve been running around so much lately, I just want to stay in one place. Together.”

“Together”, Kuroo murmured, sleepily. “You know, that almost sounds romantic.”

“Shut up Kuro.”


	8. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

The therapeutic training and baths of Nekoma had been good for Kiyoko’s injuries. She’d improved a lot since they arrived. Kenma thought a large part was Hitoka’s doing though. The normally skittish girl had been diligent in her care of the wounded pilot. Kenma had been aware of their feelings for quite some time, but it still came as a surprise to him when they announced they were getting engaged. 

_Already?_ He wasn’t scandalized. Not really. He thought of himself as a pretty modern and broad-minded person, but the way all of his new-found friends just seemed to rush into relationships was so bewildering to him, even if it was also inspiring. He was happy for them, of course, and joined in everyone’s boisterous planning for the wedding, set to a year ahead. 

“How do you court on Aoba Johsai, Oikawa-sama?” Hitoka asked, ready to take notes. 

“Oh, it’s all very romantic. Actually, my mother wanted to marry me off to Ushiwaka, since our planets are destined to merge in the future.”

“Merge?”

“Yes, in a few generations or so, our star systems will join into one big star. Everyone knows this, but relations have been strained even with all the planning. My mother decided marriage was the best solution. Obviously I didn’t agree, since I was hopelessly in love with someone else. When my Iwa-chan found out of the upcoming betrothal, he set out to woo me instead. He bent down on one knee and read me a poem that he’d composed himself, imploring me to consider him instead.”

“As I remember it you said ‘we’re getting married tomorrow’ and then we eloped,” Iwazumi muttered, red in the face. 

“And it was the happiest day of our lives,” Tooru ground out, glaring at Iwaizumi.

“No it wasn’t.”

“Iwa-chan!”

“But it’s in my top five. And you’re in them all.” 

“Did you get anything from that, Yachan?”

“Yes, it was perfect. Thank you.” Hitoka smiled, scribbling. 

“Kuroo-san, Kenma-san. How is courting done here on Nekoma?”

Avoiding Kuroo’s gaze, Kenma shifted nervously and focused on Hitoka. 

“It’s a lengthy process, quite elaborate. You offer them gifts and take care of them. There are lots of subtle gestures, ways of dressing and speaking that will tell the other you’re interested. If they return your affections, they will do the same.”

“And then?” Hitoka frowned at Kenma, who looked away with a red face, and instead turned to Kuroo, who grinned at her. 

“Then the couple will inform their families they have gotten married and will live together.”

“What, just like that?” Bokuto gasped.

“What do you mean ‘just like that?’! You said you proposed to Akaashi after like one week”  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

When the time of departure was approaching, Nekoma hosted a ceremony of mourning and new beginnings. Kuroo and the other survivors from Kamomedai whispered the names of all of their fallen comrades as lanterns for each name filled the night sky. It was a beautiful sight. Kenma doubted any of the bodies would be recovered. Kamomedai had become too unstable to live on and any survivors had fled the planet to flood the rest of the Nagano sector. The galactic council probably had their hands full. He hoped they’d be too busy to bother Tooru.

The farewell lasted well into the night, with a lot of talk about memories, plans for the future and fervent hugging. Kenma was sad to say goodbye to everyone that had become their friends, but at the same time it felt appropriate. Kuroo was going to join him on a trip to Dateko to check out the university there. Kenma had no doubt that he’d love it. Takanobu had helped them arrange an apartment and used his connections to have them both admitted to their field of choice. Kenma was eager to start the next part of their life. Besides, they would see each other soon enough at the wedding.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Kenma fretted and checked himself in the mirror again as he prepared for the wedding celebrations. He knew everything was in place, but was it perfect? Should he change the hair and put it up more? No, it would take too long - and Kuroo would probably prefer it this way. Kenma took a deep breath and forced himself to run through a mind-cleansing exercise. He didn’t like dressing up and mingling, but he was looking forward to this. After all, it was the wedding of two of his friends and he’d be familiar with several of the guests, guaranteeing he wouldn’t feel out of place. The ceremony and party was in the same building, so he could always retreat or take a break if it was too crowded. It would be fine - and Kuroo would be there. For once, Kenma was certain he would enjoy a party.

Kuroo knocked on the door at the exact time. Kenma opened and met Kuroo’s gaze, feeling his face turn slightly red at the stare. He’d expected Kuroo to look surprised and pleased - and he did - but he was also looking flabbergasted and Kenma feared he might start to cry. 

“You…” Kuroo croaked “...is it?”

“Yes, it’s the same one. I hope you don’t mind that I changed it a bit.”

“...I don’t mind,” Kuroo breathed. 

“You look good,” Kenma supplied and held out his hands, eager to shift the focus to Kuroo, even if he was pleased by his reaction. It had been hard keeping it a secret from him, but the colours of his haori and hakama had been perfectly dyed. It certainly helped that Kuroo’s family’s colours were red and white. 

Kuroo made a formal bow and took them in his, his smile wide and happy. Kenma almost wanted to stay in the room a bit longer to enjoy it. 

“Before we leave, I have something for you,” Kuroo said, releasing him. 

Kenma blinked as Kuroo withdrew a small package from the folds of his dark robes. Kuroo looked unfairly good in black, Kenma mused. The artificial arm blended perfectly into the sleek folds, giving him a regal, but roguish, look. It was only accentuated by his hair, which had been lightly trimmed and styled in a way that it made Kenma want to run his hands through it. 

He accepted the gift and observed the intricate wrapping before he carefully opened it to reveal an exquisite framed picture set. Kenma expanded it fully to admire it. There were three photos - one of them as kids, one just before Kuroo was taken and one from their last visit on Nekoma. Kenma let his fingers trace the engraved signs - ‘past, present, future’. He glanced over at Kuroo. 

“I thought...we could ask someone to take a picture tonight and add it. It...expands, for the future, so we can add more pictures later.”

“That’s good,” Kenma whispered, feeling giddy. “Thank you. I’ll...treasure it.”

Kenma put the set down on the table next to the bed and picked up his gift for Kuroo. It was probably a bit over the top, considering what he’d done with his dress, but after all there was a reason he’d asked Kuroo to wear black tonight, apart from the fact that it suited him too well.

Kuroo accepted his gift with another bow and admired the wrapping for far too long, just to torture him. As he brought out the golden sash, Kuroo’s face turned even more red than before. He frowned in confusion at the little metal chip that rolled out of the folds. 

“It’s a tracker,” Kenma said, searching Kuroo’s face for a reaction. “For your arm. I wanted...to make sure it can’t happen again.”

“Thank you.” 

Kuroo turned so that Kenma could add the chip to the arm, before he helped with the sash. Kenma fastened it, taking his time to enjoy the gesture, and offered his hands again. 

Kuroo cradled his hands in his before they moved towards the party. 

“We look pretty good together, don’t you agree?” Kuroo mused in that tone he used when he wanted to tease Kenma a little extra. “Someone might think we’re the ones getting married.”

Kenma gave him an exasperated glare, but it wasn’t as if Kuroo was wrong. 

“You’re right”, he agreed, enjoying Kuroo’s arm trembling around his shoulder.  
  
  


¤¤¤ 

Hitoka and Kiyoko glided across the dance floor with flushed cheeks, looking into each other’s eyes. Several other couples joined them and soon the floor was swirling with colours. Kenma was content looking, but he knew Kuroo wouldn’t be for long, and to be honest it was too good of an opportunity to pass up making Kuroo flustered.

Kenma searched the crowd to spot him. It was easy enough, with his height and hair. Kuroo slowly approached him, carrying two glasses, exchanging brief words with people he passed, but steadily making his way back to him. 

_Mine_ , Kenma thought, not for the first time tonight. Kuroo had made it clear he was, so he had no reason to feel so possessive, but he found himself being unusually clingy this evening, to Kuroo’s obvious delight. 

“Here you go, another apple surprise,” Kuroo said as he handed over one of the glasses with a flourish and teasing smile. 

Kenma had drunk nothing else tonight and was quite satisfied with that fact. Why drink sour stuff when this existed? However, he probably shouldn’t have more after this. He was just enough pleasantly warm and lightheaded and he had a feeling he definitely wanted to remember this evening. 

Kenma raised his glass to softly bump it into Kuroo’s before slowly licking some of the sugar from the rim of his glass and taking a sip. Watching Kuroo’s slackjaw stare at his tongue and mouth was half the fun with this drink. Kuroo made sure to retaliate though, as Kenma liked staring at his throat as he swallowed. Kuroo holding glasses was also very nice to look at. Ok, so he liked looking at Kuroo in general. At least he was being less obvious than Kuroo, though not by much. 

Kuroo took another sip of his drink and put it down to hold out his hand with a formal bow. 

“Would you like to dance?”

Kenma smiled inwardly as he feigned a sceptical look. 

“You know, I think dancing is just a bad excuse to put your hands on each other.”

While Kuroo was sputtering, trying to figure out a good comeback, Kenma put down his glass and took the outstretched hand. Kuroo blinked and looked down on him. 

“I didn’t say it was a bad idea,” Kenma murmured as he pressed himself flush against Kuroo’s chest, resting the side of his head against Kuroo’s heart. 

The quick dunking in his ear was gratifying. 

“I think you’re supposed to put your left arm around my back,” Kenma supplied helpfully, as he put his right arm around Kuroo’s waist and blinked up at him under his lashes. 

Kuroo smiled crookedly and slid his arm around his back in a possessive grip that shouldn’t really make Kenma that weak in the knees. Kenma normally didn’t care for dancing, but swaying slowly, pressed close to Kuroo was far from a chore. His heartbeat reminded Kenma that he was here, warm and solid… _alive_ \- and his. 

They didn’t even bother separating when the music changed to the next song. It was an even slower one. There were mainly couples left on the dance floor now, slowly gliding together, just like them. As the music died out to give way to a faster beat, Kuroo pulled him away to the corner at the far end of the room, though he didn’t let him go. Kenma was perfectly content to stay like that. He rested his head against Kuroo’s chest, his arms around his waist, enjoying the warmth and Kuroo’s chin on top of his head. Kuroo’s right hand found its way to his hair. 

“You were right,” Kuroo murmured close to his ear. 

Kenma glanced up at him. 

“It is a very good excuse.”

“Maybe you don’t need an excuse,” Kenma admitted easily. 

“Is that so,” Kuroo breathed, bringing his hand to his cheek, stroking it reverently. 

“You never needed one,” Kenma added helpfully, enjoying the way his words made Kuroo’s ears red and his gaze focused on his mouth. 

Kuroo’s fingers moved tentatively closer to his mouth and Kenma briefly considered waiting for them to reach it. 

“Is this ok?” Kuroo murmured, looking at him searchingly. 

Kenma replied by brushing his lips against Kuroo’s fingers, causing him to make a sharp inhale. Kuroo’s fingertips slowly traced his lips and Kenma made sure to watch Kuroo’s face when he moved to kiss them. Kuroo’s features went from slack jawed to intense and Kenma almost giggled at the speed at which he found himself against the wall. 

Well finally. Flirting was fun, but considering all the time they’d lost Kenma felt they deserved to jump a few of the traditional Nekoma courtship phases. Maybe he’d been corrupted by their friends. 

He didn’t care.

Kenma pulled impatiently to bring Kuroo’s face - and lips - closer, but the idiot seemed to need another sappy gazing session, despite his hungry look. 

“Kuro, you can stare into my eyes every day if you wish, but if you don’t put your lips on me now I’m going to kill you.”

“I can?” Kuroo was still smiling as his lips brushed across Kenma’s, leaving him momentarily stunned. 

“Every day?”

Kenma nodded dumbly as Kuroo gave him another way too short kiss. 

“I’ll take you up on that.”

“Good,” Kenma muttered, red in the face. God was he annoying when he was sappy. He wanted to hide his red cheeks - and kiss Kuroo’s happy face silly. 

Kuroo’s lips returned to distract him and this time he didn’t pull away until they had to come up to breathe. As soon as Kenma had taken a shaky breath, the lips returned and Kenma lost himself in the warmth. Kuroo lifted him up and he automatically wound his legs around his waist to help. The new position made it easier to deepen the kiss, but it was also very distracting with Kuroo’s lower body and its obvious hardness pressed against his. Kenma groaned as he desperately tried to press even closer. 

Kuroo started to kiss his way down his neck. Kenma leaned to give him better access, moaning out loud as Kuroo reached his collarbone. He could feel Kuroo’s smug smile against his skin and gave his hair a sharp tug. They couldn’t be too loud here. Kenma desperately wanted to continue, but he also knew he wanted to have Kuroo all to himself somewhere more private. He didn’t want to stop kissing him though. Just a little bit more. They had all the time in the world. 

Kuroo’s hands started to find their way into the side folds of his hakama and Kenma shivered as he felt the warm fingers brush his hip bones. Just as Kenma wondered if anyone would _really_ mind if they just tore off each other’s clothes right here, a helpful server came around the corner and then quickly turned around to make a hasty retreat. Kenma sighed. 

“Kuro, let’s go to my room.”

Kuroo groaned, but eventually let him down. 

If anyone thought they looked disheveled, they at least didn’t call them out on it. Kenma quickly dragged Kuroo by the hand towards his room. He planned on spending the next few hours lip-locked with this idiot and no one was going to disturb them.


	9. Kintsugi, the art of precious scars

Kenma figured getting into his hotel room would have gone much faster if they’d taken the time to let go of each other and focus on actually opening the door. However, stopping kissing Kuroo was not an option. As soon as the door closed behind them, Kenma began to pull at Kuroo’s clothes. He happily went along with the process, helpfully discarding the outer layers as they slowly moved further into the room. As good as Kuroo looked in formal clothing, Kenma didn’t want anything left between them. No clothes, no unsolved conversations, no confusion. He just wanted to press against Kuroo’s warm bare skin and never let go. 

Kenma’s legs reached the bed and he paused, just as Kuroo decided to release his mouth long enough to look at him. 

“I still can’t believe you kept this,” he whispered, caressing the folds of Kenma’s clothes reverently. 

“You gave them to me,” Kenma murmured, swallowing thickly. 

“I always imagined you would look good in them, but…”

“Now you want me to get out of them?” Kenma suggested wryly. 

“That might be a good idea,” Kuroo nodded in mock seriousness. “They could get wrinkled.”

“We wouldn’t want that,” Kenma agreed in the same tone, reaching for the elaborate belt. 

“Let me,” Kuroo beat him to it and started to work the knot open. 

Kenma did let him. He’d let Kuroo do anything. 

The folds gradually slid off, leaving room for Kuroo’s hands and mouth to reach his skin. He seemed determined to kiss and caress every part he uncovered. 

“This is like opening a present,” Kuroo commented, ignoring Kenma’s resulting glare. 

“Don’t be corny.”

“Do you want me to do other things with my mouth?” Kuroo suggested with exaggerated winking. 

“Kuro,” Kenma huffed impatiently. “Please stop trying to be suave.”

Kuroo gave a dramatical whine, but didn’t look very upset. As he went back to pressing kisses against Kenma’s stomach, Kuroo’s hands managed to undo all the lacing on his wide pants. Kenma’s mouth went dry as Kuroo’s hands and lips worked their way down his thighs. And he’d been wrong before, because Kuroo was definitely looking suave now, staring up at him with heavy-lidded amber eyes under black lashes. 

It wasn’t often that Kenma got to look down on Kuroo. Their height difference ensured it was usually the other way around. Kenma remembered how upset he’d been as a child when Kuroo suddenly outgrew him and he couldn’t catch up. He definitely didn’t dislike it now though, despite it being a bit impractical. 

Kenma sat down on the bed to get closer to Kuroo, running his hands through the messy hair. Kuroo sighed in pleasure and leaned closer, pressing lazy kisses against Kenma’s legs and stomach. 

“My turn,” Kenma murmured, trying to pull off the rest of Kuroo’s clothes. He was only partly successful. 

“Kuro, stand up.”

Kuroo rose and towered over him as usual. Kenma scowled at him. 

“You’re too tall.”

“I’ll bend down when you want to kiss me, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried,” Kenma muttered, finally succeeding in getting most of Kuroo’s clothes off. 

“I like your height,” Kuroo said. “It’s perfect for hugging.”

Kenma pressed against him, sighing contentedly as he finally felt all the warm skin against his. 

“It is,” he conceded. 

Kenma kissed a jagged scar on Kuroo’s chest carefully, then moved on to the closest one on his right arm before pressing his lips against one on his hip. 

“Are you going to kiss all of my scars now?”

“I am.”

“That might take a while,” Kuroo smiled wryly.

“We have time,” Kenma said. “Unless you don’t want me to?” He added, looking searchingly at Kuroo’s face for any signs of distress. 

“I love it when you kiss me,” Kuroo assured him breathlessly. “Please don’t stop.”

Kuroo had eventually told him about each mark. The scars were very different depending on what had caused them; be it whip, sword, knife, fist or just scraping from falling. Kenma wanted to kiss each and every one of them, even if he had to stand on the bed to reach them all. Eventually, he pulled Kuroo down on the bed instead. 

“You look beautiful,” Kenma assured him between kisses, letting his hands roam free. 

“I’m glad you think so,” Kuroo said, swallowing. He seemed to be undecided on whether to close his eyes and just enjoy the sensations, or keep his eyes locked on Kenma’s every move. 

“I want to kiss all of yours too,” Kuroo said, before proceeding to do just that. 

“I don’t have that many, so I’ll get less kisses,” Kenma pouted. The only parts of him that might compete with Kuroo in that regard were probably his hands.

Kuroo pressed his lips against Kenma’s neck. 

“I don’t have a scar there.”

“Really…I could have sworn I saw one.”

“I don’t have one there either.”

“Sure you do.”

“Kuro…”

Kuroo hovered over him, giving him a tender smile, before pressing his lips over his heart over and over. 

Kuroo had to brush a few tears away before capturing his mouth again, deepening the kiss. 

Kenma sighed in pleasure, pulling Kuroo as close as possible. Their height difference was no issue when they were lying in bed, so Kenma decided they were going to be doing that a lot in the future. He never wanted to stop kissing him. Predictably, Kuroo still tasted a lot like the drinks they’d had earlier, but the most wonderful part about kissing him was just to feel connected. Kenma’s whole body hummed in awareness. He loved the feeling of Kuroo’s warm skin against his. He loved being able to run his hands all over Kuroo’s muscular back and feeling Kuroo’s every shudder and sigh as he too pressed as close as he could. 

Kenma’s length was growing harder against Kuroo’s stomach and he was happy to note that Kuroo was in the same situation, seeking friction against his thigh. Each grind wound him tighter and tighter, but at the same time he thought he could do this forever. He could still barely believe this was real. Kuroo was alive. Kuroo was back. Kuroo was his. Kuroo was hard because of him, kissing him and murmuring a mix of endearments and nonsense in his ear. 

“When…” Kuroo gasped as Kenma’s tongue got close to his ear. “When did you realize?”

“I don’t know. If the attack hadn’t happened, we’d have ended up courting soon anyway. It’s not as if I wasn’t interested. I was just a bit behind.”

“You are so much younger after all,” Kuroo teased, kissing his shoulders. 

Kenma considered hitting him, but Kuroo’s lips felt too good. Since Kuroo had started with questions, he decided to follow suit and satisfy a number of curiosities...

“What’s your favourite part of my body?”

“You’re making me choose? That’s too hard. But ok, I really like your hair...and...your hips.”

Kenma wanted to tease him for being predictable, but since Kuroo chose to illustrate his choices by stroking them with his big hands, Kenma just groaned. 

“My hips? Really?”

“I like to fantasize about my hands on them and the sight of your small of the back being all wet haunted me for months when I first realized.”

“And when was this?”

“When we were skinny-dipping on Nekoma. After Kai’s birthday party.”

Kenma turned red in the face. 

“Well...you can put your hands on my hips now.”

Kuroo smiled and did just that. 

“You can do stuff with the small of my back too.”

“Like...kissing it?”

“For example, yes.”

Kenma hadn’t realized how sensitive he was there and once Kuroo realized this he took full advantage of this tidbit of knowledge.

“I’m going to learn every little thing that makes you feel good,” he whispered against his skin. “And I’m going to see every face you can make when I do it.”

“I want to make you feel good too,” Kenma groaned. He was impossibly hard, but he didn’t want to come yet and he was probably going to if Kuroo continued much longer. 

“Which parts of me do you like best then?”

“I like your hair too...and your...face. Stop grinning,” he added when Kuroo smiled like an idiot and kissed him so he could neither speak nor look at said face. 

“I like your collarbones, especially when I can see them peak out of your clothes. They also look pretty nice when wet. All of you look good wet.”

“We need another trip to the onsen,” Kuroo declared. 

Kenma nodded eagerly and then spent quite some time attacking Kuroo’s collarbones. He loved every moan Kuroo gifted him with and discovered that Kuroo pulling his hair was probably going to be something he should do more often too. 

“I also love your back,” he told Kuroo. “It’s warm and firm and I like feeling your muscles move under my fingers.”

Kuroo groaned as Kenma did so. 

“Your ears are the cutest,” Kuroo declared, leaning in. “And you have the most adorable nose.”

Kenma glared at him and rubbed his nose to get the wetness away. 

“Watching you make all your different faces is my favourite thing in the world. Always has been.”

Kenma pulled Kuroo closer and kissed him, as he wound his legs around his hips to press their bodies and their lengths together. Kuroo devoured his mouth in eager gasps as Kenma’s hands roamed over Kuroo’s lower back and further down. 

Kuroo stiffened and Kenma paused immediately. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kuroo hurried to affirm and slot his mouth against Kenma’s again. 

Kenma hesitated, but soon he was back in the warm and heady pleasure of feeling Kuroo all around him. 

“Can I?” Kenma murmured, hands edging closer to Kuroo’s groin. 

“Anything,” Kuroo mumbled, sounding giddy. 

“Anything?” Kenma pressed, watching Kuroo’s face intently, as a ghost of hesitation passed his features. 

“Uhm…”

“What can’t I do Kuro?” Kenma asked encouragingly, stroking his hair and pressing a few kisses along his neck. 

“That’s fine,” Kuroo breathed, though he looked a bit conflicted, considering his next words carefully. 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Kenma said lightly. He didn’t want to press Kuroo too much, but hoped Kuroo would also want it out in the open. He knew he hadn’t been mistaken about that earlier reaction. 

“There are a few things...but I hope...maybe later it’ll be fine.”

“There’s no hurry, we have all the time.”

“True,” Kuroo agreed. “It’s mainly...my...anything reminding me of….”

“Your ass?” Kenma guessed, keeping his voice light. Kuroo had never told him exactly what had happened, but talking to Bokuto had helped piecing some of it together. 

Kuroo gave a quick nod. 

“All parts of it?” 

“No, just not...close. Most of it should be fine, I think.”

“I won’t come close,” Kenma assured him. “Are there any other things?”

“...I think...maybe just no pain involved?”

“Thank you for telling me.”

Kuroo sighed, hugging him close, but seemed relieved to have gotten it off his chest. 

“Is there...anything you are uncomfortable with?” Kuroo finally asked. 

“I don’t think so,” Kenma replied. He hadn’t considered it, though he wasn’t surprised that Kuroo would think to ask. “I have a few bad experiences...but none that I think about now.”

Kuroo breathed a relieved sigh. “I’m glad.”

“...would it make you uncomfortable to...touch me that way?” Kenma managed to ask, turning a bit red. “Because I...um…”

“Like it?” Kuroo prompted, giving him a curious look. 

“Yes,” Kenma mumbled. 

Kuroo grinned brightly. “I think that could be arranged.”

“Good,” Kenma muttered, hiding his face against Kuroo’s neck. 

“Now?” Kuroo whispered in his hair. 

“After I’m done with you,” Kenma said, looking up with a glint in his eyes. It included a question too. 

Kuroo smiled in reply and then released a stuttering breath as Kenma’s hand slowly started to explore his cock. Kenma kept looking at Kuroo’s face for any sign of distress - and what seemed to work best - but he needn’t have worried. Kuroo just looked happy and euphoric. Kenma loved it when Kuroo smiled. While his smirk was equal parts hot and endearing, his genuine smiles were Kenma’s favourites. The face he was making when Kenma slowly stroked him into orgasm was not far behind though. 

“Now you,” Kuroo grinned, once his breathing had calmed down and Kenma had gotten several kisses as reward for his now aching wrist. 

Kenma nodded eagerly and glared at Kuroo as he left the bed to rummage around. The only positive part of that was the view. 

“You can’t do me if you’re that far away,” Kenma complained. 

“You did say there was something you wanted me to do,” Kuroo said. “Very much so if I remember correctly.”

“Oh…” Kenma bit his lip in anticipation. “It’s to the right in my bag.”

Kuroo returned with the bottle, but didn’t immediately open it. 

“You can change your mind, you know.”

Kenma shook his head and pulled him into a kiss, which later turned into groping as Kuroo’s hands slowly began to approach Kenma’s ass. At Kenma’s fervent encouragement, Kuroo very gently and carefully slid a slicked finger inside. He looked a bit nervous at first, but Kenma guessed his slack-jawed blissed-out face convinced him that he liked it. Because he did. A lot. He’d dreamed of Kuroo making use of his big hands this way and it felt better than he’d ever imagined. 

Kuroo pulled his fingers out and Kenma whined in protest as Kuroo slid down. 

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Can I?”

Kenma nodded quickly and gasped as Kuroo eagerly swallowed down his length. 

“I’ve wanted to do this,” Kuroo said, as he released the cock with a pop, before diving back. “I’ve wanted to taste you and watch you come apart.”

Kenma understood Kuroo’s earlier hesitation between looking and closing his eyes, because Kuroo between his legs and with his mouth around his cock was one of the most erotic sights he’d ever seen, but it was almost too much. He closed his eyes for a while just to enjoy feeling the warmth and wetness of Kuroo’s mouth and every lick of Kuroo’s tongue. 

Kuroo’s finger rubbed against his ass again. He was probably going to come if Kuroo did that, but Kenma didn’t mind any more. He wanted to come now. The ache was almost making him dizzy and as Kuroo’s finger moved inside in sync with his mouth on his cock, Kenma released Kuroo’s hair as he felt himself fall and fall, shuddering and gasping. 

He could feel Kuroo’s satisfied smile even if he couldn’t see it. 

When Kenma opened his eyes, Kuroo was back next to him, tucking his hair behind his ear. Kenma snuggled closer and pressed his lips against Kuroo’s still smiling mouth. 

“Next time, I want to taste you too,” Kenma declared. 

That next time was likely going to be soon, Kenma assumed. Probably later tonight. 

“Did you finger yourself before?”

“I’ve used fingers sometimes, but mostly I’ve used...appliances.”

Kuroo blinked. 

“What kind of appliances?”

“I’ll show you later. I didn’t bring them here.”

“Please do.”

“I will show you _all_ of them.”

“How...many do you have?” 

“Guess.”

“Wait, do you have any that are bigger than me?”

Kenma smiled enigmatically. 

“Now I’m imagining you using them back in the apartment, while I was in the next room…” Kuroo sounded both intrigued and pouting. “I’ve never heard you.”

“Maybe I was trying to keep quiet. I’ve never heard you either.”

“Now we’ll be able to hear each other all the time,” Kuroo mused, sounding very happy about that fact. 

“We will,” Kenma agreed, beginning to press lazy kisses on Kuroo’s face. 

“I was thinking…” Kuroo said, clearly distracted, but wanting to finish the sentence. “When we get back to Dateko...maybe we should get a new place closer to your lab. Now that we only need one bedroom?”

“Mmmm.”

“Kenma, am I being too hasty again?”

“No, I’m right there with you.”


	10. Epilogue

_Planet Dateko, two standard years later_

Kuroo scrolled through their messages. They were numerous, which normally either meant that it was important news, or that Bokuto was bored. Then again, he had been away with Kenma for a couple of days, so there was a lot to catch up on. A romantic weekend was just what they’d needed to take a well-deserved break in their studies. 

“Yachi and Shimizu are inviting us to the girls’ naming ceremony. It’ll be held at Saeko’s next moon.”

Kenma hummed in response. “That should work fine. It’s just after your exams and I can work ahead on my thesis.”

“Bo sends greetings. He’s coming to the party.”

“With Keiji?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll talk to Takanobu about an appropriate gift,” Kenma said, making a note not to forget. “Maybe we can get a joint one.”

Kuroo nodded. 

“Good idea. Let’s see...Iwa says they’ll probably manage to come too, unless politics gets in the way.”

Kuroo didn’t envy the couple, who were trying to make Aoba Yousai and Shiratorizawa a joint republic through diplomatic means, while living in asylum on neutral FeVa. It was a complicated process, but if anyone could do it it was them. 

“Suga-chan says Daichi signed on Hinata’s sister Natsu and that he hasn’t had a second of peace since.” 

Kenma snorted at that. After they’d left Karasuno, Tobio and Shouyou had stayed on, but once Sugawara was healed enough, Tobio decided to leave to let him reassume his position. Shouyou had left with him and the not-quite-couple had ended up joining the elite force MSBY, tasked by the galactic council with restoring order in the Nagano sector, including what was left of Kamomedai. Asahi had made a promise to Tanaka that he would go look for Noya, so he had - and the two friends were apparently still travelling the galaxy together. Tanaka had left to start an academy back on planet Karasuno. To fill all the missing spots, Daichi, Sugawara, Kiyoko and Hitoka had started to apprentice several youngsters from said academy, so they had their hands full. 

“It’ll be fun to see them all.”

“I can’t wait to show them my new arm!”

Kenma felt his face turn slightly red. Kuroo never failed to show off the new arm. Kenma vowed he’d make an even better one next time. He’d learned so much since they arrived here and Kuroo was in his element, soaking up knowledge like a sponge. 

“And then we’re going back to Nekoma for the annual reunion. It’ll be fun.”

Kenma gazed at his best friend, who was happily responding to messages. The suggestion had been burning on his tongue all weekend, but just as he’d been about to say it, Kuroo had...distracted him and he’d resolved to bring it up as soon as he could. 

“Maybe when we are there we should also inform Father we’re married.”

Kuroo almost stumbled into the table and stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Wh… we are?”

“We are.”

Kenma tried to look calm, but knew he had failed miserably when Kuroo knelt down next to him, smiling from ear to ear.

“How scandalous, Kenma-kun. It’s not like you to be so hasty.”

“Shut up Kuro.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was born out of an old scene I had among my drafts, fused with inspiration from Furudate’s extra NewYear comic with Kuroo in yukata and metal arm (if you haven’t seen it, check it out [here](https://twitter.com/haikyu_com/status/1081381588070367234); it’s gold. Translations can be found [here](https://twitter.com/kurxken/status/1080875433934106630/photo/1) and [here](https://twitter.com/kurxken/status/1081673465982345226/photo/1)
> 
> (The same comic also mentions “Hatsuyume”, which made me look it up and write a fic about that too)
> 
> The hyper talented Kuck00nut has made the art for this fic. Heap her with praise [here](https://twitter.com/Kuck00nut/status/1214146962221457408?s=20).
> 
> If you want to share this fic on Twitter, you can use the share button, or retweet my original post [here](https://twitter.com/flipsideofc/status/1324829582827147266?s=20).
> 
> If you liked the story it would be great to know which parts were most enjoyable to you.
> 
> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> LLF Comment Builder  
> This author replies to comments.  
> If you don’t want me to reply to your comment, for any reason, feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!
> 
>   
> If you want to read more kuroken, feel free to check out my other [works](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlipSideofC/works) or [the Recommended Kuroken Fics Collection](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/Recommended_KuroKen_Fics/).


End file.
